My daughter has strict food rules for her children, and I just don't agree.

I hear your disagreement and frustration. Nutrition and health are not the issue unless the grandkids have medical conditions that require special medical diets.

An occasional treat can teach realistic eating and moderation plus help prevent the denial, deprivation and then overeating cycle that so many adults practice related to the good food, bad food mentality. At the same time, fun does not have to be associated with food. In our country, most social occasions are tied to food and not necessarily healthy food. These occasions can send the message that fun is only related to eating less-than-healthy foods. When there is a balance, such as choosing healthy foods 80-90 percent of the time and allowing for some treats, there tend to be less food related problems for people. But in this situation, the operative word here is "rules."

Nutrition aside, you would be going against the wishes and food rules of your daughter which may create bad feelings between the two of you and confuse the children as to what they are suppose to eat and to whom do they listen to. Perhaps an idea would be to have a conversation with your daughter in private and let her know that you appreciate her food rules but would like to offer an occasional treat when your grandkids come to visit.

See if you can come to an agreement that satisfies both of you and sets a positive food example for the children.

Dr. Susan