i think i am depressed but don't know how to confront it?
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Questions About Depression
i think i am depressed but don't know how to confront it?I'd like to start off saying; don't judge me. help me. background: im 17 male. my family has never been close to perfect nor do i expect it to be but when i or other members of my family fight, it eats me apart. I feel like my childhood was taken away and filled with bad memories. My most vivid memories is my parents fighting. I feel like if i told my parents they would treat me differently and i want nothing to do with that I don't talk to my parents or anyone else about it i know because i trust nobody. I can't afford to trust people because every time i do, it screws me over. I used to enjoy a lot of things but it seems like now nothing is of interest. family, friends, everything have 0 meaning to me. It seems like i have no purpose and i have no reason to live. I have thought about death, quite a few times. I haven't gone through with it because i feel like i would tear apart everyone's heart if did. The guilt of it stops me, nothing else. The only times i can think of happinesss or excitement is Christmas or theme parks. Neither phase me anymore. I never have energy and never feel like doing anything. I get angry easily and i have hurt people and regretted it. . (this is where the do not judge part comes in). I became a fan of marijuana because it masks my depression and i feel no negetive emotions. That effect only lasts for about 2 hours and i can't be high all my life. I've come to the realization that i need help but don't know how.
I suffered the same thing. My parents have fought all through my child hood. They just recently finalized their divorce. Married 16 years! The way to end this burden is to confront it. Think of it as a black leach sucking all your emotions away slowly. You must tell someone. I had confronted my dad for 2hours for all the bad he's done for me. I can't say this will fix everything though,but it helps slowly.
There are steps that you must follow and it all depends on you. You have indentified that there is an issue. That is the first step. I applaud you, few people are able to recognize that there is an issue Step Two is to find someone who has had a similar experience. This person serves as a guide. But keep in mind, this person is not liable for your actions. There are many steps that follow, and they must be followed carefully The sooner you seek help the easier things will be. Depression and the like become living nightmares that are far from enjoyable. email@example.com
Hey if you want the help get it don't be afraid. I know it's hard to say your depressed but trusth it better than just trying to fake being happy. I understand about trusthing no one. There will be a time when you'll find true friends. Parents don't treat you any different they just hate everyone else that is depressed. They never want to believe what you are going though is reality. Though they won't leave you alone if you tell them. They watch you like a hawk. You need to tell your parents you shouldnt have to live this way if you don't want to. You are in control.
I recently went through the EXACT same thing. I went through a week of hospitalization. The best place to start is your school consular. Yes, they will call your parents. I wanted to get help just like you do. Its a long process, but you wont get the help you need until you tell someone. you're going through the same thing I went through. I also smoke marijuana. But after you tell someone, especially your parents, things will only get better, trust me. It happened for me. I am now medicated for my depression. I hope things get better. Good luck.
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