Do I have a Disorder?

I'm starting to think i'm developing Social Anxiety Disorder. Here are some symptoms: - I'm afraid to pick up the phone because I might disappoint the person on the other end. - In a small argument it will lead me to suicidal thoughts. - I don't socialize often in being scared that I might do something embarrassing. - I dwell on embarrassing things that happened years ago. - I completely change my personality when around certain people to make sure they see me as a good person. - I spend an average of 13 hours on the computer a day. - I don't have a mobile phone. - I'm afraid of getting my friends' phone numbers because talking to them and not seeing their reaction scares me. - I have a panic attack if i'm asked to have a video call. - I hate myself for having depressed thoughts because others are suffering more than me. Meaning I insult myself and break myself down. - My friends are cruel to me, I don't fight back because i'm scared I would loose them - I have never dated because i'm too afraid i'll disappoint them. -I am afraid to hug people, thinking I would cry. -I never tell anyone of my pains unless I need attention. -I hate my body. Other information: I'm female, i'm Fifteen years old. I listen to Alternative and Indie music; one of my favorite Artists committed suicide in 2010. I have a younger brother with ADD that I hate to death and two parents that know little about me, but love me dearly. Love or caring is never shown in my household. So yeah, please send back this quickly. I'm so confused and upset with myself. Please don't say go to the doctor because I have panic attacks just thinking about it. My parents wouldn't understand- They would take me to a psychologist. I'm independent and I have to do this this way. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents. I just hate they hardly know me. They don't even know my favorite color.