Have you ever been so lonely you wanted to die?

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Have you ever been so lonely you wanted to die?
I dont know anymore; I used to think I could tolerate the pain of social isolation but i dont think i can anymore. No matter what i do i cant relate to the people around me. Whether they all are or not, most other college students seem very superficial to me, so although I crave human interaction I am generally disappointed by what I get. At social gatherings I feel especially lonely as I have difficulty with small talk and little interest in drinking games. Seeing people who are happy or obviously in love really bothers me; most of the time I have to look away to hold back a myriad of painful memories and emotions. Dating just hasnt happened for me. In general I have difficulty asking women out, always done it via text or online. Moreover when I am with a woman I either figure out quickly that I am no longer attracted to her or I find myfind myself in the "friend zone". I'm still a virgin and to that end I have considered giving up on traditional relationships and simply going to prostitutes instead. Growing up wasnt easy for me as I was overweight, poor, and socially awkward from a very young age; most days I was very lucky if all people ever did was call me names. Moreover, my parents were very controlling so any mention of depression was immediately met with hostility and suspicion. I dont know what I can do to feel better. I've tried therapy, antidepressants, and even liquor to cheer myself up but nothing works. It would be so much easier if I could just end it all.
No. I live in a thickly populated area. Here many people are of helpful nature. They take care of me well.
I purposely isolated myself I hated people but I became so suicidal and depressed that I couldn't live with it anymore I ended up talking to random people and hanging out more then one of my closest friends hung himself. You have to think on if you really want to die there is so much to life it would be a shame to purposely end it especially when theres so many people that love you like your family or closest friends you have
I've been the height (lowest?) of lonely too - in fact, I haven't had a friend for a full two years today. Not a single soul. It can be really saddening, but physically I'm only 15 and I have plenty of years left to make friends. It's probably similar with you. Solitude is certainly not something you want, trust me - when people say they like always being alone, they're lying. It's impossible - man is a social animal. Anyway, for me, dying is out of the QUESTION. Whether I have one life, or as people say, more, I won't get another chance to do the things I have planned. Dying is pointless. I'm not afraid of death, but I'll let it come for me when it will. So you feel like a social outcast? I think you should just bide your time and try to make friends in new places. People with similar interests to you. I can't make a single friend at my school, but when I move to Music college or something similar, I'm certain I will. It's simple :)
Hi, I am the same way with you mentally except I have a happier life now. Anything from my peers seem just superficial to me and the whole world seems really judgemental and morally incorrect. However, you just have to accept that the world is the way it is. You can still have friendships with people even if you do not agree with every one of their decisions or thoughts. Everyone has SOMETHING is common, even if it is a little thing. You can just share that part of your life with a friend. & also it seems that you are going to the wrong places to be social. There's many many many people in this world and there are tons of people who have difficulty with small talk and little interest in drinking games. Maybe you just need to research more about different places and try going to a different social setting. As for meeting someone special... I know it sounds very cliche but there is that one person for EVERYONE, no matter what the people around you say or think. But, it is hard to find that special person , or make it work with that person, if you are not in a good place with yourself. I do not know much about you, but from what I read, it sounds to me like you have a very low self-esteem. You seem to think that you are not as great as you really are only because you do not like the same things as the other stupid college students do. I know tons of women who would love a guy who's not into drinking games. I know tons of women who loves chunky guys. I know tons of women who like quiet-er people. You see my point? You may not be perfect to many people, but im sure there's some people out there who would think that you are perfect for them. I think you just really need to have time for yourself, really think about who you are, and how much you really love yourself. Sounds to me like you're just a sweet guy, trying to live a happy life. Please do not end your life over this. Because there is nothing really wrong with you and your life could be so great if you just made a few tweaks. You just need to get past all of the bad things that have happened in your childhood & become healthier and more positive. Good luck, I hope everything works out !!! :)
Not quite, but close. That kind of isolation is brutally hard for almost anyone. But I don't know any way to simply step out of it, you have to work your way out and keep working. It's *not* easier to give up. That's what exhaustion whispers, but it is a terrible lie. You lose everything you have and everything you could have had, leaving nothing. You are really discouraged right now. That's not a permanent condition no matter how familiar it might be. Look at how fed up you are with your situation. What is that if not pressure for it to change? As I see it, you have a lot to offer other people that is genuine and valuable. You're just not as available to them as you would like to be, because you are bound up in your past. But the past sucked, and it keeps getting dragged forward into the future, where it sucks all over again. This is something to stop where possible. You can't become carefree and charming with the flip of a switch, but you can lift your burdens by looking for any situation that offers a chance of a win, no matter how small. The small wins are so easy to collect! It's a win every time you contribute something positive to any other person, so opportunities are many. It can be just a smile on your face for a stranger. You can build on this. It does mean paying less attention to yourself, but that might actually be a great relief. Don't look for payback. You are really just trying to re-engage with the world. Payback is the feeling that your day counted for something when it's done. You can turn the tide by steps just this small. Parties aren't your thing. But so what, parties are not all there is to life, thank god. You can be with people socially a minute at a time as you make your way around, if you just get out. Don't be afraid to let things expand. If it were all easy you would have already done it. But's not impossibly hard either. Good luck, keep making steps, before long -- enjoy doing it. It's quite within your power.
Please seek professional help if thinking of harming yourself. Life is worth living. We all feel super lonely at times, even when your in a relationship you can still feel lonely. I know being alone can seem like the end of the world for anyone, at any age, believe me I know but things can get better and the person of your dreams IS out there. She could be right around the corner, so don't give up. You have just not met the one that makes you feel comfortable with her and with yourself yet. I have found out too through life experiences that many people out there live to be cruel and hurt others, but that means they are usually very insecure themselves and just take out their frustrations on others to make themselves feel good. Tomorrow will be a better & brighter day, even if just a little. I try to just take 1 day at a time and when that is too much then an hour at a time, when that is too much a half hour. One of the best things you can do is get a pet. A loving cat or dog will give you so much unconditional love. I know, I could not make it sometimes if I did not have my cat to talk to or to curl up in my lap when the tears flow freely and my heart aches like it is breaking. No, I'm not some crazy old cat lady, but sometimes I would rather be with my pet than most people I know. I was thrown away like trash after 18yrs of marriage and I lost both my children too. I have not seen them in 10 yrs and now have grand-kids I've never met. So, yes I know what it is like to be lonely. I am grateful I finally found someone who loves me and I love them, but it took time and I didn't give up. I had my faith in God and I adopted a pet and I struggled through until the days got better. Still, things aren't always great and I struggle with so many issues, I hold on, because I know Tomorrow is another day and in that day, I may see my kids again or get to meet my grandchildren, or I might get rich and finally be healthy or at least not as sick. I say to myself all things are possible. I keep a journal and I write out all my thoughts and that helps too. Maybe you could find a good church close by with a good youth program and get involved there, or a local organization to volunteer at or help with and there you may find great friendships. PLEASE, Do Not Give Up! Call a local hot line and speak with someone, or go to a local church and speak with a good clergy, you do not have to be religious to go and talk to them, they are social servants. Find someone you can talk too, I too have tried everything that you've mentioned(except alcohol or illegal drugs, those would only make things worse) to no avail, until recently I finally found a therapist who really listens and doesn't think a pill can magically solve everything. He listens and it helps to get my feelings out to him and for him to listen and give his opinions. I still have bad days, but you know what, I live for the good days in between and they are worth living for. Keep trying, don't give in to the darkness of loneliness, say to yourself, this too shall pass and I am worthy of love, friendship, happiness, and well being. Try getting a pet, if you are able, if not then maybe volunteer at a local animal shelter, it helped me. Don't go to prostitutes, you are worth a lot more than that, you are and you don't want to end up with some horrible disease or waste yourself on that when the woman of your dreams or someone whom you care deeply for could be right around the corner and you will want to share that first time with someone special to remember for Always. Please, keep trying, Life is a precious gift for everyone, and we each have a purpose. Although it may seem unclear right now, just stay strong. God Bless & take care. Please don't give up.


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