Parent to Parent offers these essential tips for interacting with relatives this holiday season:
First, learn to employ the word "no," says Susan Newman, Ph.D., author of "The Book of No: 250 Ways to Say It -- and Mean It and Stop People-Pleasing Forever" (McGraw-Hill $14.95, 2005).
One of Newman's focuses as a psychologist and author is to help families solve relationship problems. The simple word no eliminates the need to push yourself to the max or to spend the holidays somewhere other than where you want to be, she says. To get to "no," follow her tips:
- Realize that you always have a choice in what you decide to agree to.
- Let go of your need to run things to be sure they turn out the way you like them. That relieves much of the pressure you put on yourself.
- There's nothing wrong with taking time for you during the holiday season.
- Don't be wishy-washy about decisions that involve changes to rituals. Stand strong when changing a tradition.
"As the holidays approach, you have other rights you will want to exercise, such as making your feelings and desires known, establishing and guarding your boundaries, and keeping your needs for rest, exercise and balanced meals in the forefront of all you do -- and don't do," Newman suggests.
