Our author turns to Mrs. Claus to help interpret the results of a study from Vibrant Nation, about the attitudes of "women of a certain age."
We know a lot about Santa Claus, everything from his line of work, philosophy and management style to his cheerful demeanor and favorite pet. (That would be the reindeer with the red nose.) We know far less about Mrs. Claus -- not even how she manages to keep her spirits up in the midst of all the holiday chaos and stress in the best of times. But that's hardly a surprise. Until recently, women at midlife and beyond were largely scooted off to the margins, rendered invisible by the rampant stereotypes in our country about "women of a certain age".
With the release of a new study from Vibrant Nation revealing the heightened resilience of women 50 plus, this is about to change. In fact, while she gets ready for her close-up, the rest of us can learn a thing or two from the wise Mrs. Claus. And given the challenges many of us are facing in this particular holiday season, the guidance has never been more needed.
In brief, Mrs. Claus has let her bun down to challenge a number of tenants about popular spirituality as well as rethink the myths about resilience. In fact, the older she's gotten, the wiser she's become.
Here are the top four findings derived from the research. These are noteworthy for shedding light on this previously understudied demographic's latest trends. But even more to the point, they are Mrs. Claus's gift to us all: a veritable Stocking Stuffer of Holiday Wisdom. Eroded optimism does not mean you have to be less resilient, as wellWhile Santa is out there motivating the elves with endless good cheer, Mrs. Claus is back at the office taking care of business. Forgive her if she is amongst the majority of her peers who trust their financial advisers and institutions less than in holiday seasons past. After all, she knows just how many on the list are out of work, lost their homes and savings this year. But out of this, she is maturing in her own spirituality. In fact, while the majority in our study report eroded optimism about the future, eight out of ten also report increasing levels of resilience. This is a new understanding of strength, one that is grounded in a grasp of new realities met with a greater level of acceptance than concern.Strength is not only about pushing through -- it's also about flexibilityRudolf may be Santa's favorite reindeer, as year after year they dash together through the snow and out over the rooftops. In fact, along with his hearty "ho ho ho", you can almost hear him shouting to one and to all: "I am strong and focused on achieving my goals regardless of the obstacles in my way." But in the Vibrant Nation study, only 13 per cent identified with Saint Nickian-style irrepresibility. Why? You can bet that it was Mrs. Claus who was most often to be found holding the hanky to the sad Rudolf's bright red nose between runs. Women at midlife and beyond have spent many moons dealing with all manner of upset, loss and disappointment. And it should be no surprise that Mrs. Claus, along with 80 per cent of her peers, identified more with the less gung ho statement: "I am flexible and adaptable and make the most out of life regardless of the obstacles that come my way."
Know that you're not aloneIt must be difficult for Mrs. Claus to be left behind on Christmas eve, of all days, year after year. But she doesn't feel sorry for herself. In fact, she knows -- as do the women in our study -- the importance of community. For her, it's the elves. For those of us fortunate enough to be close to our loved ones, it's getting to spend time with family and friends. But even those who may find ourselves for any host of reasons on our own during this holiday season, this year can be different. The surging popularity of online communities allows us to do what no generation of women in history has ever been able to achieve: seek others of like-mind, life stage and situation from around the world for comfort and support. Another of Mrs. Claus's gifts to us: a mousethe electronic kind that can stir even on Christmas eve, and that holds the potential to tap us all into communities that help us feel that we're not crazy or alone.Be exceptionally kind to yourself this yearYou know just what this means. Hop to it.Thank you, Mrs. Claus, for sharing not only the cheer of the season -- but the wisdom. With these four points stuffed in our stockings, we can more fully enjoy the cider, candy canes and the glow of the holidays, be it from candles, Christmas tree lights or the video chat computer screen with loved ones far away.Carol Orsborn, Ph.D. is Sr. Strategist, Vibrant Nation and author of 16 books for/about the Boomer generation including her latest The Year I Saved My (downsized) Soul: A Boomer Woman's Search for Meaning...and a Job (VN Books.)
