Brushing Off the Church

When three couples -- elderly, middle-aged and newlywed -- sought to join a local church, they were informed by the pastor: "We have special requirements for new members. You must abstain from sex for two weeks."

Reappearing at the end of two weeks, each couple was asked by the pastor whether they succeeded.

The elderly man replied: "No problem at all." He and his spouse were welcomed into the fold.

The middle-aged man said: "The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights -- but, yes, we made it."

"Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor.

But then came the newlyweds. The young man told how when his wife was reaching for a can of paint, he was overcome by passion and made love with her on the spot.

"You understand that this means you will not be welcome in our Church?" the pastor intoned.

"We know." said the young man. "We're not welcome at the paint store any more either!"