COLUMBUS' JEWISH MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered, you still could have written!"
MICHELANGELO'S JEWISH MOTHER: "Can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"
NAPOLEON'S JEWISH MOTHER: "All right, if you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me."
ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S JEWISH MOTHER: "Again with the hat? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S JEWISH MOTHER: "The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance goodbye!"
THOMAS EDISON'S JEWISH MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric lightbulb. Now turn it off and get to bed!"
PAUL REVERE'S JEWISH MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is way past your curfew."
