The Mind of a Man

Men take it on the chin daily for being insensitive. It's not their fault -- simply poor communication.

• "I heard you" really means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."
• "It's a guy thing" really means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
• "Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear" really means: absolutely nothing -- it's a conditioned response.
• "We're going to be late" really means "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."