Others may have difficulty being faithful as a result of emotional issues that stem from childhood or from problems in past relationships.
Sometimes, affairs act as a substitute for things that a person is missing from their relationship. An obvious example of this is when there are sexual problems. But people can also feel neglected because their partner doesn't spend enough time with them or give them enough attention.
Once you understand what caused the affair, you have to decide if you both want to work together to change things in your relationship so that it won't happen again.
Getting past an affair involves being very open with each other and being willing to listen to what your partner is saying -- even if it's difficult for you to hear.
The person who had the affair has to be completely honest with their partner and answer all their questions, many of which are likely to be detailed questions about the affair itself. They should accept that their partner has to go through this process, and that not answering their questions fully will make things more painful for them.
Finding a way of talking things through without resorting to shouting and arguing can be very difficult when there is so much hurt and anger.
This is why many couples go for counseling after an affair. It is common for the partner of someone who has been unfaithful to feel angry and to blame them entirely for their problems, or for the person who had the affair to blame their partner for "driving them to it."
Blaming each other stops you from being able to look at problems that led to the affair.
It is inevitable an affair will change your relationship. But if you are committed to working through your problems together in an open and honest way, it's possible for your relationship to survive this crisis.
Source: Daily Record (UK). Powered by Yellowbrix.
