Lois Wyse: ThirdAge Insider |
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Dear Lois
My husband and I have been married 34 years, and he recently took early retirement. We have some savings, and if we are careful, we can probably stretch what we have to cover our remaining years. Lately, however, my husband has become addicted to the stock market. He sits in front of his computer and buys and sells stocks. When I ask if he's making money, he says "Some days yes, some days no." I have a feeling he's gambling our life's savings. And when I ask to see the numbers, he says, "You wouldn't understand."
I would understand. What I don't understand is what he's doing and how he picks stocks. Sometimes I show him stories on the financial pages and ask if he invests in those stocks, and he says, "I don't need your advice. We still eat three meals a day don't we? And don't show me stories about investments. I use my intuition." I'm scared. How can I get him to stop? LAURIE Dear Laurie
Sounds as if your husband needs a trip to Gamblers' Anonymous. What he's doing is gambling your savings in what he thinks is a sure thing. The stock market is not for dummies or the faint of heart. He sounds like a dummy (anyone who says he uses only intuition to pick stocks is not a smart guy), and you sound faint of heart. If he wants to invest, do two things: First, convince him that you two should talk to a money manager (your bank or friends can recommend someone) so his stock market gambling is controlled. Then, relax and stop criticizing his actions (it sounds as if that's what you're doing). When you criticize, I'm sure he becomes defensive. And you both may need a little family counseling to make your new life arrangement--with him as house husband--more enjoyable.This Week's Letters
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