Lois Wyse: ThirdAge Insider |
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Meeting an Online Lover
Dear Lois
I have become involved with a man online and am anxious to meet with him, as he is with me. I don't want to leave anything undone. How do I do a background check? JESSICA Dear Jessica
The best way to begin a background check is to ask him the questions that would impede a relationship: Is he married? Does he have a job? Where does he live? Does he have children? Does he support anyone other than himself? Are his parents alive, Where do they live? Has he ever been in trouble with the law? What is the status of his health? And the best way to ask those questions is first to volunteer the answers for yourself. Be open and honest; tell him you do want to meet him, but there are certain things you want him to know, and you want him to tell you those same things about himself. If you don't trust him to tell the truth (here comes that intuition again), then maybe there is something he's told you, and that coupled within your own warning system, is reminding you that this may NOT be the relationship you want. But if the answers come back the way you want, go ahead and meet him. And good luck!This Week's Letters
"He's Gambling Our Savings Away!"back to intro
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