Lois Wyse: ThirdAge Insider

Let's face it--life is messy. In a world with no guarantees, many of us fear taking a chance on love. But if you don't take that love gamble, if you don't make a bid for happiness, will you ever truly be satisfied?

A few weeks ago, I was visiting San Francisco and happened to pass the coffee shop where I first met Maya Angelou almost 30 years ago. With Maya Angelou, one doesn't just meet--one connects. Now, years later, whenever we meet, she always addresses me as "Sister," and we each recall our first meeting, which started with a cup of coffee and ended pots of coffee later after we talked the night away...

I always get the full sense of Maya when I read her books. I just re-read "The Heart of a Woman" (Random House), first published in 1982 and republished in 1997. There is a special truth on every page--one in particular was so good I wanted to pass it along to you. It's something Billie Holiday said when she visited Maya (who was a singer and had yet to write her first book): "Men. Men can really do it to you. Women would too, if they had the nerve. They are just as greedy; they're just scared to let on."

Billie hit on a universal theme. We are not alone--our fears aren't necessarily unique. In relationships, our fear can paralyze--we wonder whether to reach out or just stay in our designated safe place. Then life events remind us that safety can often mean loneliness, and if we don't ask questions, and take some risks, we may never create a life worth living.

This Week's Letters