Finding New Love in the New Year

"Ring out the old and ring in the new" -- so goes the axiom for New Year's. Usually folks apply this to resolutions around losing weight, quitting smoking, eating right and exercising more. Honorable goals these are, and perhaps one or two are on your list. But what about your love life? Have you considered changing the way you deal with dating, and turning over a new leaf in the new year?

If this sounds like just the ticket for you, consider how you'd succeed in this pledge. According to a University of Washington study on predicting factors that would lead to success in resolutions, about 63 percent of 264 people polled were able to maintain their resolutions after two months. One of the study's authors, Alan Marlatt, Director of the Addictive Behaviors Research Center at the University of Washington, has found the following three factors help them persevere:

• Have a strong initial commitment to make a change.
• Have coping strategies to deal with problems that will come up.
• Keep track of your progress. The more monitoring you do and the more feedback you get, the better you will do.

The study's co-author, Elizabeth Miller, emphasizes that confidence in and commitment to their resolutions are also factors that make folks successful. Also, realizing that "resolutions are a process, not a one-time effort that offer people a chance to create new habits," is key to continuing new, healthy habits says Miller.

So if your love life didn't sizzle last year, the trick in 2007 may be enacting lifestyle changes that open up new romantic horizons. Below, we offer up four ways to create that change in a simple and doable fashion. Remember that confidence, commitment and perseverance will usher you toward the new love life you've been hoping for.

Get Involved
Volunteering to help out those in need is one way to get over your feelings of being alone, and also to meet kindred spirits who have a similar sense of wanting to give back to their community. Become a Big Brother or Sister, spend time at the local animal shelter, or give a hand at a nursing home. You'll feel better for it, too.

Try Out Something New
You always wanted to try glass blowing, write a novel, build some furniture, visit Las Vegas? Well, what the heck are you waiting for? Take the class, book the trip. Enjoy reaching beyond your humdrum patterns and see how alive you feel. Now notice the other folks in your class, on the tour you've taken -- don't they look alive and happy, too? This is the space you need to be in to meet that special someone. Vitality and confidence are far more attractive assets than most people account for.

Be Open-Minded
How often do you hear the "how we met" story from friends who weren't at first attracted to each other? "I thought he was boring" or "I never liked blondes!" might have been their first impressions of their loved one. However, these couples did something that many singles do not -- they gave that person a second chance. Being rigid in your idea of who is "Mr. or Ms. Right" slashes your chances of engaging with someone who, beyond their initial impression, is wonderful and may be a great match for you!

Explore Web Options
Although online chat and random dating sites seem to be going the way of the dodo, more targeted, personality-assessment type sites are taking off. The principle draw of these meet-your-match sites is in the detailed assessment tests that one takes to join, which are then used to directly match you with mates who gel with your personality type. No more random dates for you to suffer through -- compatibility is determined before you even leave cyberspace. The bonus is that you get the lowdown on your own personality, and how you relate to others.

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