Ten Ways to Grow Closer to Your Mate this Summer

Ah, summer love! Remember those glorious times from your pre-teens, teens and young adulthood? Remember being so lovesick you could barely stand it when you were away from boyfriend or girlfriend? Remember feeling like you just couldn't wait until you were an adult so that you could actually live with the person you loved?

I'll bet you'd give almost anything to retrieve, revive and experience some of those moments and feelings. But I'll also bet that it sometimes seems so impossible that rather than try anything, you instead try nothing.

Well, it's not impossible, but it's up to you to take the initiative. Try these ten fun summertime activities and you'll be on your way to recapturing your summertime romance!

1. Seed your garden, grow your love. Just as it can be exciting to redo some interior design in your home and watch it transform your living space, planting flower seeds that blossom in summer can give you the same thrill.

2. Cook together. Barbecue in the backyard or prepare some light summer recipes that are good for your health and spirit. Season these summer dinners with conversations about how to lighten up and make your lives more enjoyable all year round.

3. Suggest doing an outdoor activity that your partner enjoys. Rather than hemming and hawing or begrudgingly going along with activities that your mate proposes -- and thus ruining his or her fun -- surprise your partner by initiating the activities yourself.

4. Take care of the sticky summer details. OK, so you're being a good sport. That's great. Now knock your mate's socks off by actually making the reservations and planning what to do with the kids or pets.

5. Take walks under the sun hand in hand. Did you know that your skin has its own memory of warm touch, cold touch and no touch? Given how cold or indifferent the world can be, all of us have a desire or even an ache for warm touch. Walking together hand in hand under a warm sun will go a long way toward soothing this ache. It may also bring back memories of those walks you took with your girlfriend or boyfriend at summer camp years ago!

6. Go on an overnight trip to the shore, the mountains or the city. Doing something together out of your usual routine will bring you closer, since you'll feel you have more in common with each other than with the area you visit.

7. Get outdoors and get physical. Go camping, trekking or wilderness exploring together. Doing an activity that's good you will make you proud of yourselves and thankful to your partner for helping you to do it.

8. Go on a cruise to a resort where someone takes care of you both. By letting a third party make some of decisions for you regarding your activities and meals, it can relieve you of those tiresome discussions where neither of you seems to be able to make up your mind.

9. Go to an adult summer camp. Remember some of those childhood and pre-teen crushes you may have had while attending camp? Guess what? They can happen again -- with your partner -- if you go back to camp. Check with the university you attended. Most of them offer such programs.

10. Road trip! Remember the cry of "Road trip!" from the movie "Animal House"? America is a beautiful country. Make a commitment to slow down from your hectic lives and take a trip by car, rail or bus. It will help you to re-synchronize your relationship and get it back on track.

Dr. Goulston is the author of The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship (Putnam, 2001).