Undying Love
Posted January 6, 2009 10:06 AM
Walter Wozniak, 80: "I met her at a dance at the Valley Stream Park Inn. ... I still love her like I did when we were first courting, I would say. The thing is that before you love somebody, you've got to like the person. You've got to have respect for them, and they have respect for you."
Marilyn and Bob Mangan of Massapequa Park, Long Island, have been married 35 years. They have three children and one grandchild.
Marilyn Mangan, 61: "It's different. I don't think it's the same kind of passion. It's not as constant. It's more you learn to appreciate each other more. ... There are times when it's just so wonderful you know why you have been there that long."
Keeping the Fires Burning
Research has found that passionate, long-lasting relationships generally have several things in common, said Arthur Aron, social psychologist at Stony Brook University:
- The couple is not facing terrible "external stressors," such as war or the loss of a child.
- One partner is not highly depressed or anxious.
- Both know how to communicate with each other.
- The couple does new, challenging things together.
- When one partner is successful, the other celebrates the success.
Source: YellowBrix, Newsday, Melville, N.Y.
Comments
Have something to say? Share your thoughts.
Posted January 9, 2009 3:58 PM
My husband and I have been married for 30 years - our first kiss was on Christmas Eve under the mistletoe at a party where "everyone" was kissing - our kiss was "wow" - electricity - we just looked at each other in disbelief. We've been through - and are still going through - the tough times - I have MS, although a milder case, have had it for 18 years, I have a 41-year-old severly mentally challenged brother who my 83-year-old mother never made any arrangements for, figuring that "God would take him before he took me". Guess what? My brother is the first human being who is going to live to 150. We're living with both of them right now, caring for their needs - my mother needs her knee replaced but refuses because my brother "needs" her and she can't spend the time away from him for the rehabilitation. We have the responsibility for his care once my mother is gone. I have another brother in California but he has a life and can't be bothered. We can't do anything as she is still his legal guardian and her idea is that he will live with us for the rest of our lives. I have another brother in California but he has a life and can't be bothered. Nice,. huh? How many men would have jumped ship long ago? It's things like this that make me love my husband more and more each day. (That and watching the way he walks.) Our physical relationship may not have the same frequency that it once did, but the passion is just as intense. And the afterglow lasts longer. And the cuddling is so satisfying. I always say that once that bedroom door is closed, it's our own world. And he makes it so for me.
Posted January 8, 2009 4:00 PM
I have one couple as friends that have outlasted all my other friends in their relationship. I once asked them the secret. They said that they have complete open and honest communication, they trust one another implicitly and they shower with one another whenever they get the chance. I asked them why showering together was important. They said it is usually the only time they get to be completely alone away from the kids. They added that it helps them connect as a couple. I know it sounds crazy, but once you are comfortable enough with your partner to bathe them, you will find that it is a great way to stay connected. That is my personal recommendation and I agree with them! I don’t know that you will save any water, but you may save your relationship!
Posted January 6, 2009 6:59 PM
This article gave me hope! Even though I may not find this kind of love I know that it exists and it's not a figment of the imagination.
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