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My Adult Son

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By Julianita
Julianita's picture
Posted 2/27/09 6:25 PM

My Adult Son

Please I need your advice. I have a son, he is 30 yrs old. He is not in drugs or alcohol but he can't hold a job. He is single and leaves out. no friends.

When he loss a job he become angry and desesperate and a lot of times I help him with food and paying the rent. Later he gets another job. etc

Now 20 days ago he losted a very good job after 4 months, but for the first time I know that he lost this job because he was playing video games. His life is video games, tv and computer.

At this moment he doesn't have money for the rent and of course he is very furios at me. when I tell him that is his responsability he said that, before he go out on the street he will kill himself.

He has been an expert to manipulate me, He always blame me for everything.

I don't have money to give it to him and I know that I have to sptop enable him.

How can I stop thinking that I am guilty and what about if something happened. I feel like he is very depressed, but the only thing that he wants for me is money. 

Help me what should I do?

 

By marggary
marggary's picture
Posted 10/21/09 7:51 PM

the basement might do the trick

Have you considered a room in the basement? No hookups for a computer or TV. No games...just books, pen and paper. He'll figure it out. And don't buy him stuff he loves. He'll eat what you like. Actually have him cook it for you to earn his keep. Vacuuming is always good to get him out. It's amazing how fast he'll get a job and be independent. Just NO money.

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By fakir4t@veri…
fakir4t@verizon.net's picture
Posted 10/07/09 1:02 PM

Have you considered

Have you considered professional counseling? Maybe you can go and talk out your feelings of guilt with someone. Also suggest that your son do the same. Your job of child-rearing is done. He must now start the process of learning to be a man. As a parent, I don't want to see or hear of either of my children doing harm to themselves. However, I would feel ver angry if they tried to manipulate my emotions by making such threats. I wish you the very best.

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By donthedane
donthedane's picture
Posted 04/29/09 9:43 AM

Kick him out!! Do not

Kick him out!!

Do not begin to feel sorry about him.

Start living your own life, and if necessary move to another country or whatever. Life is too short to feel guilt about things hat are outside your control!

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