Discussion
Keeping Things Fresh?
Posted 6/29/08 9:43 PM
Keeping Things Fresh?
Hey all,
My husband and I have been happily married for 30 years. But sometimes I wonder if we're not as close as we once were. It's not that we fight -- we almost never do. And we talk a lot, and have sex regularly. But we don't seem very interested in spending much "quality time" together. For instance, we used to take at least two vacations a year, but we haven't traveled at all the last five years. And we never go out on "dates" anymore. The scary part is that neither of us seems to mind. It's like we're satisfied just sharing the house. Am I being silly? Is it enough just to love each other?
--CA
Posted 11/20/08 7:41 PM
if you wonder...
... it's probably true.
Which of you used to make all the travel plans? If it was him, maybe he just got tired of being the planner. If you miss it, take the initiative to plan a trip! Odds are he would enjoy it and it might re-energize his motivation. But if you're both happy with the way things are, then there's nothing wrong with that. Besides, it sure sounds like you get 'quality time'... you say you talk a lot and have sex regularly... that's pretty good.
Posted 09/26/08 11:35 PM
Keeping Things Fresh
We have been married for 42 years. They were really good for the first 25, but after that - down hill. My husband is pretty cynical, negative and boring. I'm a very people person and like to socialize. I feel that I always have to be on my toes when we're out together, wondering what he might say! He holds nothing back. Just lets it rip. His opinions are the only ones that matter, and all of his are 'right'. I honestly think I've out grown him. Our interests aren't the same! I would try anything (nothing illegal or kinky), just things in ever day life. Not him. He's uncoordinated, clumsy and just doesn't care to even try! He doesn't question things. I question everything. I want to know 'why' this is that, or that is is. Why!? He just goes on his merry way, as long as he has his lounge recliner, and the remote in his hand - he's a happy camper!!! I hate TV!
I could go on and on, but I'd like to hear from someone else.
Posted 08/14/09 6:03 PM
Hi, I know you probably
Hi,
I know you probably won't see this since you posted nearly a year ago. I'm here looking to see if anyone has my problem and it appears that you do.We have been married 39 years and it sounds like we are in the same situation.
I love my husband dearly and cannot stand the thought of being without him, but we have grown to be so different. I am also a people person, love to laugh, have fun and try different things and also have questions! We do go on vacations, but the majority of the time I'm singing with the radio or CD because he can't talk and drive, although I can. There is no laughter in our lives, except for me. He rarely finds anything funny or humorous and I am a very happy person. But it gets really old and depressing being the only happy person in a relationship. Also he doesn't talk much so our conversations are limited.
We have talked and fussed about this on numerous occasions, but it never improves. We rarely are apart because he doesn't have many outside interest and when I go somewhere without him he tells me how he misses me and didn't like being alone...which makes me feel quilty. So we stay at square one, here together mostly in silence with me getting more depressed by the day. I love being happy and I love finding humor in everyday life, but he seems to have totally lost his sense of humor and it is pushing us farther and farther apart.
I sure wish I had some answers and may end up seeking marriage couseling, but I can't see that helping. He seems to be following in his father's footsteps and never wanted to be that way. Although in our discussions that has been brought up and he agrees, but can't or won't do anything about in the long run.
I try to do everything I can to have our marriage be a happy one, but not having laughter and everything always being serious, I can't handle.
Posted 06/30/08 4:40 PM
What have you done to spice
What have you done to spice it up? Personally speaking, I love it when my wife does something unexpected. Once, she greeted me at the door after work with a living room picnic -- she'd ordered my favorite takeout and lit some candles so I had no opportunity to decide if I wanted to participate in the romance. Moral of the story? It worked and got us a little out of our rut.
Hope this helped a bit.
BSanders
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