How to Improve a Marriage? Give It a Tuneup

Ever wonder how to improve a marriage? A marriage program -- a form of group marriage counseling -- may be the answer. Read the Q&A below to find out how it can help your relationship.

QUESTION: My marriage is all right, but I think we have room for improvement. Would a marriage counseling program be helpful or do only people in crisis attend those kinds of programs?

ANSWER: I am glad you asked that question. Many people are under the false assumption that marriage programs are only for those in trouble.

Every marriage needs maintenance. It is difficult to keep anything in good working order without upkeep. Somehow we think our marriages will maintain themselves. Cars get tune-ups and people get physical checkups. A marriage needs an annual tuneup, too.

If a couple is going to make marriage a priority, that takes time and energy. A weekly date is vital to keeping love alive and thriving. Our relationship needs nurturing. We feed and water plants but somehow expect a marriage relationship to grow without any special care.

Every married person needs to ask the question, "What have I done for my marriage today?"

No one is perfect and no marriage is perfect. There is room for improvement in every relationship. It is a challenge to become the best spouse you can be. Taking time every year to learn new things about your relationship is essential to a healthy marriage.

Many times, women tell me that they would love to attend a marriage program but cannot get their husbands to attend. Each person in the marriage must be willing to give 100 percent to the relationship. Attending a marriage program together will help each partner to become a better spouse. A good marriage will get even better. Perhaps you could gather several other couples and sign up together for a marriage program. This could be a fun date for all the couples. Spending time with your spouse and discovering new things will deepen your good relationship. Marriage enrichment is just that -- it will make your marriage richer. Having fun together and attending events helps to build your sense of togetherness. Marriage enrichment is for everyone who is married. Anyone who becomes an expert puts in time, practice and energy. Athletes spend every day in training. When it comes to marriage, we all need more training. Most weddings do not come with a marriage manual. It is essential to keep love alive and maintain our marriage. By all means, sign up today for a marriage enrichment program. You will be glad that you did. John Phillips is executive director of Community Marriage Builders. He can be reached at john@makeit last.org or (812) 477- 2260.
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