Marriage Renewal Brings Back Happiness

Weekend retreats with hosts Albert and Bertha Fresquez don't offer much in the way of mental relaxation or idle talk.

In fact, the married guests at these so-called Retrouvaille weekends are there to work with one clear goal in mind: reviving their marriages.

Retrouvaille, which is French for "rediscovery," is for couples whose marriages aren't going well or are in danger of failing.

The program is affiliated with the Catholic Church, but participants don't need to be Catholic. The only requirement is that the couple be legally married.

Marvelle and David Buechel had been married nearly 30 years when the stress in their marriage peaked a couple of years ago. David Buechel's mother had died, and, a short time later, he left his private medical practice and joined a group practice.

Tension grew, and the couple struggled to communicate. After a particularly bad day in his new job, David came home very agitated.

"I listened without saying anything, and then I told him: 'I can't do this anymore, Dave. I can't live like this.' And he said: 'Fine. Don't,' " Marvelle said.

Marvelle had first noticed Retrouvaille in a church bulletin a couple of years earlier but didn't think David would agree to go.

"I'm a physician, and so there's a certain amount of skepticism you have anyway," he said. He was surprised to find how helpful Retrouvaille was, both for his marriage and for his personal growth.