Poor Me + Poor You = Poor Marriage

In particular, there's a high likelihood of slipping from feeling frustrated into feeling self-righteous ("I'm right, they're wrong!") or feeling like a victim ("Nothing I do is good enough for them" or "I guess they just don't care").

But few things kill off closeness and intimacy more than self-righteousness or victimhood. Avoid the destruction of your relationship with this simple three-step plan:

Step 1: Admit Your Feelings to Yourself
As soon as you're aware that you're frustrated with your partner, say it to yourself. If you name it, you begin to tame it. Simply saying the words "I feel so frustrated right now" lets out a little steam and buys you enough time to take the next two steps.

Step 2: Be Grateful
Think of two specific things for which you're grateful to your partner. For example, I'm grateful to my wife for grounding and centering me, and for giving me a sense of home that I would be woefully inadequate at providing for myself. By doing this exercise, you'll discover that you can't be genuinely grateful and feel like a victim at the same time.