To Save Your Marriage, Don't Put the Kids First
Modern parenting seems to involve always putting the kids first. But a new book warns this could be harming your children and causing marital problems. Instead, to save your marriage, shift your focus to your relationship, the experts say.
All moms and dads want their kids to be happy -- but many couples are going too far by letting everything revolve around their children.
Family coach and Episcopal minister David Code believes parents have to put their relationship first -- to have the best chance of avoiding breakups and problem children. David warns focusing all your attention on your kids rather than your partner, isthe equivalent of an affair, and just as damaging to a marriage.
In his new book, To Raise Happy Kids, Put Your Marriage First (Crossroad Publishing), he warns trying to be best friends with your kids could lead to problems.
If a relationship is going through a rocky patch, a parent may try to fill the void by becoming too emotionally attached to their child, rather than addressing the real problems before it's too late.
David said: "We are trying too hard to give kids everything, and show them everything and spend all our time with them. This can mess with a child's process of gaining independence.
"We must regain a balance between tending our marriage and nurturing our children.