Secrets to Marriage: 10 Women Share Their Thoughts

"He is a good father. He is a hard worker. He is the type of person who works to take care of his family. He makes sure his family comes first. He is very giving. He opens his home to anyone. I thank God we are able to help someone else," she said. 2. LaFaye and Delbert Austin Married 41 years Six children LaFaye Austin said the No. 1 thing she relies on to keep her marriage working is her -- and her husband's -- faith in God. "What really pops in my heart first, is knowing the Lord, knowing Jesus. Always be understanding and loving and the Lord will work it out," she said. Communications is key with all relationships and in keeping a marriage working for more than 40 years. "We have always been open and honest with each other in our relationship. We talk about it. We talk about it to each other. That is what I love about our marriage. We have always had a very open communication with each other," she said. "Remember that marriage is about love, it isn't about passion. It is about true and sincere love. If you love someone, you will be open to their concerns and hearts." Austin and her husband talk about everything, even things that may be hurtful, but they don't stay angry. "We don't stay mad at each other. We get mad, we are human, but we don't stay mad at each other. We talk about it and we come to a consensus. We may not agree, but I respect his opinion and view and then we drop it and move on," she said. While Austin and her husband respect and give to each other, Austin pointed out marriage isn't always going to be even. "Remember it is never going to be 50/50. Sometimes it is going to be 70/30. In your marriage sometimes you are going to have to give more than you get," she said. 3. Teresa and Donald Tucker Married 43 years Three children Teresa and Donald Tucker have known each other their entire lives and have been married for 43 years. "We've known each other since kindergarten. We started dating when I was in eighth grade. We knew each other. He is my best friend. I am his best friend. We like each other and we love each other," she said. Tucker thinks the long time of knowing each other is part of what makes their marriage work.

"I think people jump into marriage without knowing the person. Even though we've known each other for all this time, we ventured out from each other for a few months before we were married, we were draw back to each other because that is where we were suppose to be. Get to know the individual. Get to know the person," she said. Although the Tuckers have known each other their entire lives, their relationship isn't always perfect. "There are times when things aren't just right, just give it time it will all work out in the end. There are times not everything is a bed of roses. There will be times of disagreements, and there are times that things won't go the way you want to. Give it time and you can work it out together. Keep the doors of communication open. If something comes up, we work through it with time and patience," she said. Tucker said she believes not matter what comes up or what they strive for they can make it work. "There are times that we can be argumentative but we know that everything will work out through God," she said. Finally, Tucker emphasized the seriousness of the vows taken by couples during their marriage. "We feel like God brought us together. We take our vows seriously, you are there for better for worse, for richer or poorer, for sickness and health. Don't just say it, mean it. Take your vows seriously," she said. 4. Alice and Eugene Lennox Married 48 years Four children No matter what the topic of discussion, the Lennoxes listen to each other and try to compromise to a common area. "We trust each other and we also respect the other person's opinion. We may not always agree, but we always respect what the other person says and then we try to come together to a common ground. We don't discount what the other person says. We listen. We listen to what the other person has to say," Alice Lennox said. Although, the couple tries to get to common ground, they are different people with different opinions. "We accept the fact we are different and unique individuals, ometimes we allow each other to have space," she said. They also feel it is important to share time with family and friends.

"Family, spending time with the family. It is one of the most important things we do. A lot of people are putting families second or third, but family should be first. Family is very, very important," she said. "We stay connected to family and friends, especially the older and younger generations." Besides seeing friends and family, Alice and Eugene Lennox take time to enjoy each other. "It is important that you have fun in your life. Sometimes people's lives get stale. Once the joy leaves, it is no fun to be married, so you need to keep joy in your life. We take time for us. We don't get lost in living and working and life. We take time for us and what we need for us. We take care of each other and make time for each other," she said. Lennox said one of the most important factors of her marriage is her, and her husband's, strong belief in God. "We are always a team and the most important thing is we put God first in our lives," she said. 5. Linda and Edmond Rollins Married 39 years Four children Talking, listening and respecting one another, those are three things the Rollinses feel are important to their relationship and any good relationship. "The main thing is communication. We talk to each other about everything. We are truthful and honest with each other. He respects me for who I am, and I respect him for who he is. We talk about it, even if we don't like it," Linda Rollins said. Rollins said sometimes topics are not easy to talk about, but those need to be talked out between couples. For Linda Rollins, her husband plays many roles not only in the community, but in her life as well. "He is my husband, friend and reverend. He wears many hats," she said. "If he wants to do something, I give him the respect." They also take time to slow down and be alone with one another. 6. Varna and Clayton Nolen Married 37 years Two children "The root of our marriage is our belief in God. If you follow the teachings of God, your relationship will be strong," Varna Nolen said. Although Varna and Clayton Nolen have been married for 37 years and are each others' best friends, they still are learning about each other.

"We are always trying to understand and know each other. We grew up with different backgrounds, values and so you are always in a state of compromise," she said. Part of knowing each other is telling each other everything. "There is nothing we keep in and away from each other. We have mutual trust between each other. When I met him, he didn't trust many people. There is nothing I would do to violate that trust," she said. Nolen said she doesn't need her husband, she is with him and does things for him because she wants to. "We are together because we want to be. I don't need him and he doesn't need me. I do things for him and he does things for me because we want to," she said. 7. Emily and Carlton Burton Married 24 years Eight children Emily and Carlton Burton have been married for 24 years and have eight children. Six of the children are birth children and two are adopted. Emily Burton said she was given advice as a young woman as to how to keep a man and has been abiding by it ever since. "The way to a man's heart is through his belly. I cook his favorite food and it has worked this long," she said. The Burtons spend a lot of time with their large family but also must take time away. "We have alone time for just us without the kids," she said. Burton said she has special glue that keeps the marriage together. "The Lord is a big part of our lives. He is the glue of our marriage," she said. Burton said if there are rough times in the marriage, God is what helps get them through. 8. Linda and David Turner Married 33 years Two children "Patience, patience, patience. You have to have patience," Linda Turner said. She said patience is the key to a happy marriage, followed by laughter. "You have to learn to laugh at yourself and to laugh with others. In families, you laugh about it, talk about it and pray about it," she said. "Talk. Talk to your partner. Sometimes things that may hurt. You need to talk about. Talk about it from your heart. You also need to listen."

The Turners' marriage has been about family. Linda Turner's mother has lived with them for several years. She said her husband takes good care of her mother, so much so, people thing her mother is actually his mother. "Families are to be enjoyed. You have to do a lot of sacrificing in a family. No matter what I know my mom will be here, my husband will be here and my children will be here," she said. 9. Joslyn and Paul Petty Married 24 years Five children Joslyn and Paul Petty have what they call a joint family. They each brought children into the family, totaling five children. "Only God can put a family together. He only knows the ins and outs of the family. God put us together. God put that family together. What God put together let no man put asunder," Joslyn Petty said. They keep Christ as the center of their relationship. "Trust in God is key. You have issues in a marriage. If you want real answers, take it to God in prayer. I keep him showered in prayer. You have to keep Christ as the center of your life," she said. Petty said she married her best friend and she loves it. "I married my best friend in the whole wide world. He is everything to me except my Lord. He is my friend, my confidant, prayer, partner, lover. There is nothing like talking to your friend, riding with your friend, doing everything with your friend. If you marry your best friend, you have a mutual commitment to keep it strong," she said. As best friends, the Pettys have a special activity they share. "You have to be able to laugh. We record a soap opera. When he is home, we like to sit down and watch it. We like to try to second guess the writers. You have to have time together,"she said. 10. Jackie and William Melson Married 27 years Two children The Melsons treat each other like the royalty they believe the other one is. "He has always treated me like the princess he thinks I am, and I've always treated him like the king I know he is," Jackie Melson said. Besides treating each other like royalty, they are best friends. "He is my best friend. We had a friendship long before we had a marriage. We allowed that friendship to grow into the wonderful marriage we have today," she said. Melson said she and her husbands are opposites but still work together. "They say opposites attract and we are truly opposites," she said. "It is truly a marriage set for forever. There are no obstacles we can't get through together." To work through problems, the Melsons always work together. "We talk, we cry together. There is nothing we can't work out together. We never do it separately, we always do it together. We pray together," she said. When the Melsons do have a problem or an argument, they always try to work out before they go to sleep. "We don't go to bed mad. We say what we need to say. We try to get through it in 15 minutes and move on," sshe aid. Finally, Melson said marriage is about having fun. "You don't have to get so serious. Don't cut all your friends off," she said. // var ranNum = Math.round(Math.random()*1000000); document.write('http://content.yellowbrix.com/images/content/cimage.nsp?ctype=full_story&story_id=146159459&id=thirdage&ip_id=McClatchy-Tribune+Business+News&source_id=Enid+News+%26+Eagle&category=Relationships&random=' + (ranNum));// ]]>//