Simple 'How Was Your Day?' Important to Some

QUESTION: "How do you cope when your spouse very seldom asks any questions about what's going on in your life, such as, "How are you? How was your day? How do you feel?" Etc."

ANSWER: Communication is an important ingredient in a healthy marriage. When partners feel a lack of communication, it can be very frustrating.

Have you told your spouse that you would like to share about your day? Sometimes we expect our spouse to read our mind.

Your spouse may not know that it is very important to you to be able to talk about the details of the day. Perhaps this was not done in your spouse's family. It may not be something that has been passed along. Often, things we grew up with are thought of as a normal way to do things.

Our family of origin greatly influences how we will set up our household and all that entails. If your father always took out the trash and locked up the house at night, you might assume that your husband will do that.

Your husband may not know that you are expecting him to do this, because in his family of origin things were different. If the husband grew up with his mother cooking all the meals and doing all the cleaning, he might assume that his wife will automatically be doing that, too.

Our expectations can lead to major frustrations if we do not voice them. Talking about what we need from our spouse is a healthy way to build a marriage relationship.

You may need to sit with your spouse and explain that you would like to be asked about your day. Your love language might be "Words." You need to let your spouse know that you will feel loved if you are asked about your day.