The Marriage Secret No One Ever Tells You
When one of my friends got engaged, he was over the moon. At dinner one night, he told my husband how much he was in love.
"It's like nothing I've ever felt before!" he said so sweetly that it was easy to forgive him the cliche.
"I know," my husband said smiling at me. "It's great being in love."
"No," our friend said shaking his head. "This is different than what you have. We never fight, ever."
I winced, but my husband maintained his gracious smile. "That's great! We can't wait to be at that wedding."
Six months after their wedding, I got a call from our friend. I could tell something was bothering him. "Are you alright?" I asked.
"Yeah," he said. "It's just that we fought and it was really bad."
After talking with him some more, I learned that "really bad" meant that she walked out of the room on him only to return a half-hour later to apologize. I told him about our fights. I told him how we had both slammed doors, said really horrible things, stomped, and not only left the room but left the house for hours on end, returning to fight again instead of make up. I told him how I, in a fit of anger, had thrown away an entirely good batch of cookies just so my husband couldn't eat them. I had also hidden cookies, turned up the thermostat and left every single light on in the house (including flashlights and closet lights), just to irk my husband. Also, once, I air-conditioned the outside. I still haven't apologized for that.
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