Sexual Problems During Menopause

I am 5 months into a new relationship after being celebut for 5 years. I Love my new partner very much and have a very good sex life but whilst i get immense pleasure i cant seem to orgasm. I have always managed to orgasm in past relationships either from penetration, oral or touching. My age is 49 and i had my last period approx 18 months ago

It's been 14 months since my last period & the dr. says I'm postmenopausal. My biggest problem is vaginal itching. I've been checked for BV, stds, yeast infection, etc. Dr says it's caused by menopause & gave me estrogen creme. That doesn't seem to be working. Has anyone found something else that works for this problem?
Thanks!

I have been dreading menopause and all those negative stories about loss of libido. I am almost 57 years old and it may take longer to orgasm but they are much stronger and better than ever!

You've done a great job of getting through with adversity and on with your life. Hooray for you.

I also had early stage breast cancer and a lump'y plus radiation. I am surprized that your doc put you on tamoxifen as I'd understood that most gyno's and oncologists now have another med they consider better than the tamoxifen. I would never want to 'scare' you abut the T med, however, please do check out if your family has any propensity for any of the potential side effects from it. I was on tamoxifen for 3 years (started back in 2000 when my cancer was discovered and dealt with) and unknowling of my family's genes for blood clots, the t med added to my high risk for them and they bit me huge time...yeah, even more than just 'big' time. Luckily I had a great doc who picked up on my problem and as that was in 2003 I'm long past that also.

You're a great survivor, lady...and luckily so am I. Hooray for both of us and for any other ladies who have benefited from any of these problems and resultant meds/docs that/who have helped us. You're at a younger age than I am (I'm 70 yo now) and I am glad that you have been able to find meds and products which can help you.

Keep up the good work and life, lady.

LoisAnn :o)

The problem that most affected my quality of life, never mind the hot flashes and unpredictable periods, was the loss of vaginal sensation and dryness, orgasms didn't feel great anymore. I went to my gyn and she advised me to try over the counter phytoestrogen supplements. I bought them at GNC. They are a soy type product, also containing blach cohosh, evening primrose, and other natural substances. Well, they worked wonders. I got my sexuality back! Orgasms became powerful and easier to reach once again. In addition, the hot flashes abated and periods became regular again. Ironically, a month later, my mammography showed early stage breast cancer, estrogen receptor positive, so now I can't take my supplements anymore because they may contribute to possible future reoccurances of breast cancer. I had a lumpectomy and radiation and am now taking tamoxifen, which is known to exacerbate further the menopausal symptoms. I don't believe the phytoestrogen caused the cancer because it apparently takes years for cells to form into a mass.
Since I am now back to the same perimenopausal symptoms as before, plus severe occasional weepiness, I'm still looking for a solution. I'm told by my medical oncologist that I can use vaginal estrogen products because they are not systemic, only affecting the vaginal area for the most part. I find that these help, although not as much as the phytoestrogen supplements did.. I'm playing it safe for now, not taking the oral supplements, but sometimes I play with the idea of going back on them for quality of life reasons..

so what do we do

Hi Lynn, menopause is certainly no picnic & to be perfectly honest--I know more women who have doctors that will NOT prescribe any form of testosterone(at least here in Wisconsin). I believe because we lose alot of our natural lubrication that kept our vaginal tissues moist & healthy & our PH levels in tact--that causes rashes, dryness & a whole host of other problems. We can be more prone to infections & irritatons with the lack of our own natural lubrication vaginally. Like I mentioned the vaginal estrogen(which is lowest dose that I trust) helps to a degree, not 100%, but I think I would probably be worse off without it. I didn't start using the vaginal estrogens until I no longer had periods. Have you tried Astroglide or the K-y jellies? Astroglide also has the syringe type style for getting it further up the vagina. I know, if all of us could, we would all say we want to go back when it was all easier. I grieved for months & months when I noticied a change in lubrication, sexual drive, etc. I grieved for what I considered a loss in my sexuality. I finally got to the place where I have realized this is the life process. Every one of us women will go through this stage in varying degrees. No, we will never be where we were at in our 20s or 30s or even early 40s, but again this is life. At times, I felt like I was literally going crazy with the sex drives, vaginal problems, hot flashes so severe, panic attacks, severe insomnia, depression, severe anxiety--you name it--I had it. As time as gone on, most of those things have started to lessen in severity. We all have to go through it to varying degrees, like I said--but there will eventually be light at the end of the tunnel. Hang in there Lynn, thinking of ya, Crickett

Hi, just wanted to tell you for most of us peri menopausal or post menopausal women, our hormonal levels start to drop. I can still orgasm pretty much okay, but the *desire* or libido has seemed to go bye-bye--more so since I stopped getting periods. I can still get aroused enough to orgasm, but the arousal has to be worked at with more foreplay than in the past. In the past, I felt I had more of a *jump start* because I had the libido going regularily strong; therefore the arousal was quick leading to the orgasm. Now I pretty much go into sex with allowing myself to be aroused by my husband. I can be aroused even withouth the desire being initially there as it used to be(if that makes sense). I found out through blood work that my testosterone level was low-normal. That is the *desire or libido hormone*. That test was taken about 2 years ago; so I can imagine that it went down even more since then. Unforunately, most doctors/gyns refuse to give women any kind or amount of testosterone(cream or gel) because they don't know enough about its effects on women & don't want to bother taking the time to find out. I tried with 2 different doctors & gave up trying. I just gathered more info from the old meno site where there were a bunch of helpful women there. Unfortunately, this site has lost most of the regulars because it isn't real user friendly. I did alot of asking, reading. You'll get through this. I told myself I will NOT give up on sex because I think the problem starts with, 'It is taking too long to get aroused/orgasm & I'm drier below; so I'm getting anxious about how our sex will go or not go--so we'll just forget it or just do it rarely'. That happens to alot of women because of the changes in our body due to hormones. Yet, if you do everything you can & set your mind to overcome the obstacles(as much as you can); then you will do okay. Crickett

I am having a hard time with the effects on my sex life. We are empty nesters this year and while my husband is having a blast with the fact that we can have sex anytime and anywhere.....I'm really getting concerned.

My head really wants to have sex but my vaginal area is dead it seems. I have lost feeling there. It's not numb or anything but the "wow" factor is gone when touched. It also takes a long time to climax if I can at all.

At my last pap test, the gyno asked "are you still having periods" I said, yes but they are mild and closer together. He said ok and that was that. I asked about hormones and he said we'll talk when my periods stop. GRRR...

I am 46 (one ovary) and just lost. I live in a small town and we only have the one gyno.

How do I get the feeling in my head to match the feeling below?

I was given Vagifem when I begged for it due to dryness.

I am having a hard time with the effects on my sex life. We are empty nesters this year and while my husband is having a blast with the fact that we can have sex anytime and anywhere.....I'm really getting concerned.

My head really wants to have sex but my vaginal area is dead it seems. I have lost feeling there. It's not numb or anything but the "wow" factor is gone when touched. It also takes a long time to climax if I can at all.

At my last pap test, the gyno asked "are you still having periods" I said, yes but they are mild and closer together. He said ok and that was that. I asked about hormones and he said we'll talk when my periods stop. GRRR...

I am 46 (one ovary) and just lost. I live in a small town and we only have the one gyno.

How do I get the feeling in my head to match the feeling below?

I was given Vagifem when I begged for it due to dryness.