The first rule of engagement in navigation of any kind, whether by land or by sea, is to take a reading on your compass before embarking on your journey. Thus, the road to your dreams starts with where you are now. You can't travel that road successfully if you don't take your starting point into consideration.
An honest assessment of your current situation may lead to the disappointing discovery that you're not even close to where you intend to go. The challenge is to use whatever your existing position is, no matter how far it is from the dream, as a tool to create the momentum to move forward.
I can't stress enough the importance of describing, in frank terms, where you are now in your life. Starting with inaccurate information will lead to erroneous decisions about what has to be done and how far you have to go to reach your dream. You cannot design your new life on a strong base if you deny any part of your present existence.
So, get everything out on the table, listing where you are in each of the important life aspects that is listed below. For each area of your life, also list out where you want to go. Be brutally honest, but don't become discouraged; everyone has a number of perceived obstacles to having the life they want.
ProfessionalFamilyFriendsHealth/Well-BeingFinancialFunRecreationRelationshipsFitnessCommunityOther/OutrageousAs you look at where you are, you are likely to hear an inner voice whispering all your limitations to you. These usually include your attitudes, beliefs, concerns, fears, worries and tales about why you can't have what you want. Fortunately, your positive attitudes and beliefs also will arise: that you do believe your dream is possible, that it's something you've always wanted, that it's something to which you're committed, and that it's something you know you can have. No doubt, you will also find that you're at a different place within each area of your life. Perhaps you're closer to your professional dream than you are, for example, to your relationships dream. This is a typical pattern, as many of us feel the need to sacrifice one dream for another. Plus, as we move along in life, our priorities shift, often foregoing having more possessions for making time to enjoy more intangible experiences. Only you can decide what will feed your soul. Creating a record of where you are as compared to where you want to be is an effective exercise in charting the course to your dream. Whether you're writing it out or speaking it into a tape recorder, you will have it available to use as positive reinforcement. Reread the exercise or play back your recording whenever you want to be assured that you're moving closer to where you want, that your dream is clearly defined, and it remains devoid of your fears about getting there.
Tension Can Be Your FriendIn his ground-breaking book, The Path of Least Resistance (Random House, 1989), Robert Fritz suggests the following exercise: Picture the tension in a rubber band as you pull on it and the release of tension as you relax the pull. Tension will resolve itself naturally in whatever direction there is more focus. Therefore, all things being equal, something will move in whichever direction it is pulled harder. Thus, if you put "where you want to be" at the top of the rubber band, and place "where you are" at the bottom of the rubber band, the difference between the two will create tension. It's like pulling the rubber band in two opposite directions; the direction in which you pull harder is the way the rubber band is going to snap. If you tug it intensely toward where you want to be, it will snap in that direction; if you pull it toward where you already are, it will snap back. If you know with clarity where you want to go, focus your attention on your dream and use the information about where you are to propel you forward. If you're at "level one," for example, and you want to go to "level six," staying focused on level six will propel you with greater force than if you wanted to get to six from level three. If you get to level three and you think, "Look how far I've come already; I can relax now," you're likely to remain at level three, or even slide back to level one.
If you find that you're far removed from your goal, don't despair; the tension in the distance from where you are to where you want to be may launch you even faster in the direction you chose. You can't be thrust forward, however, unless you stay clear and honest about your current position. When you start to negotiate with yourself ("Oh, it's not so bad; I've been at level one for a couple of years, so a little while longer won't hurt") you dilute or eliminate the dynamic. It's the tension that moves you forward. Conflict ManipulationThere's a different kind of energy involved when moving toward what you want, than there is when moving away from what you don't want. For instance, you may have a problem about debt. If you take action to eradicate the debt, you're likely to stop taking action as the problem starts to go away. Your inaction can then lead right back to the problem. But don't become complacent with only a partial victory -- go all the way! The critical question becomes whether you're more committed to remaining where you are or to getting where you want to be. Changing any lifestyle pattern takes work. The difference between staying and moving is deciding what you'll need to propel you forward. Marcia Wieder is the author of Making Your Dreams Come True and Doing Less and Having More. Find out more about her programs and products by visiting http://www.dreamcoach.com
Source: Money & Work
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