If "Looking for Love in all the Wrong Places" is your life's latest theme song, imagine stopping by your local café to meet 10 eligible singles your age and learn about their hopes, dreams and goals in two hours? Welcome to the world of SpeedDating.
Started by Aish HaTorah, a Jewish resource center, this dating technique has become their number one program for singles. It's so successful that the center is licensing it to other cultural and religious groups. There is even a SpeedDating game show on the television horizon.
Here's how it works: Paired up at coffee tables, SpeedDaters have eight minutes to delve into intimate territory and get to know each other as well as possible. When a bell rings time, the men rotate to the next table. It's like musical chairs for singles, and the prize is a chance to meet your dream mate. At the end of the evening, if a special someone -- or two or three -- has sparked your interest and wants to see you again, the organizers connect you for a second date.
Yossi Offenberg, the program's director in San Francisco, says that those in their 40s and 50s are signing up in record numbers, surpassing other age groups. "The approach is a much more mature one as opposed to the 20, 30s," he says. "Midlife participants already have kids, have done well financially, carry substantial life experiences and so have a good understanding about what they want and don't want."
Rona, 50-something, says, "At my stage, I don't care to go to bars or singles events. Because of my life experiences, I know what I want and I'm not going to waste time on someone that I'm not interested in. That's why SpeedDating works so well for me."
Finding Meaning in Minutes: Offenberg recommends that SpeedDaters use the eight minutes to really get to know each other's direction in life. He points out that many ThirdAgers have ended relationships because they were not clear from the beginning about who they are or what they're looking for in a relationship. "This time, ask the important questions before you decide to start a relationship with someone, so that there are no surprises as you spend your future together," he explains. To help, organizers provide a list of recommended questions like "Where do you see yourself in five years?" and "What are your strengths and weaknesses?"
Midlifers are voicing the wish that the program had been around when they were younger. They point out that it might have saved them a lot of time. For a busy single on the run, the eight-minute date may be your perfect solution.
Get Ready to Speed Date: Offenberg recommends that potential SpeedDaters first take an inventory of their own strengths and weaknesses, and then consider how they can ask personal and penetrating questions of those they meet.
