I am overweight and it's hard for me to enjoy sex due to my body insecurity. How can Tantric lovemaking help me get beyond this fear and help me enjoy sex? -- M.
Dear M.,
It is very likely that your partner loves your body -- especially if it responds to touch. Your insecurity is about your own fears and projections.
In the South Pacific Islands, the Caribbean and South America, big women love their bodies and aren't afraid to show it. Western cultures, especially America, view things a little differently. We can't be skinny enough!
We're taught to suck in our bellies, which leads to high chest breathing -- a sign of anxiety and panic. Tantric technique has us learn to relax and breathe into our bellies. Practice this in a quiet space for at least five minutes every day.
Find some sensuous music that you like and begin to get more comfortable with your own body by dancing. You can do this in private. Dance for you; nobody is watching. Let yourself go.
Tantra is about taking the steps to move and change an old way of being. It's about seeing the beauty that you are, because when we feel beautiful, we are beautiful. Everyone around us sees it, too.
Order yourself some lingerie. Get something you like that will be comfortable. You'll look and feel gorgeous.
Every Tantra workshop I've attended has dealt with body issues. Everybody has issues about their body! The most perfect bodies have issues. Eastern philosophy teaches that the body is the Temple. It is our vehicle and we must treat it with respect and honor.
Finally, practice your Kegel or PC muscle exercises. You'll feel more turned on and ready for sex no matter what you think about your body. Building up these muscles will give you the feeling of being an experienced, powerful lover.
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Learn about Kama Sutra, Tantra and other sexual disciplines from Suzie Human at Tantra.com.
