My wife is very quiet when we make love. I'd like her to make noise. How do I encourage her? --K.
Dear K.,
How loving of you to use the word "encourage" rather than "make."
Making noise during sexual play is a turn-on and helps us know where our partner is in the sexual response cycle. The signs of arousal and stimulation, especially in women, are very hard to interpret even with sound added.
When we open up our mouths to let sound out, we literally open up the body cavity and allow the energy and pleasure to be transported through us. It's almost physically impossible to fully let your pleasure be known to your partner through sound and hold your pelvic region muscles tight at the same time.
When we don't relax our genitals, we restrict the flow of pleasure. Opening up our mouths tends to make our pelvic region open up also. The possibility of full-body orgasms is then greatly enhanced.
When we begin to work towards a fuller capacity to orgasm, we begin to expand into the Tantric perspective. Risk of not looking good, of being "too much" and of getting embarrassed can hold our evolutionary processes back. This is a shame, especially considering that we are blocking and missing out on bigger pleasure and the possibility of pure bliss states.
Low, deep emanating sounds can lead to full-body, multiple orgasms that can very possibly include female ejaculation. Having the capacity to be in our bodies, in our pleasure and consciously learn to receive even more pleasure is our birthright. It's time we claimed those rights. And our partners want us to, also!
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Learn about Kama Sutra, Tantra and other sexual disciplines from Suzie Human at Tantra.com.
