Dear Suzie, I recently came out of a very rough and angry marriage, and have started a relationship with a friend that I really like and trust. When my friend found my G-spot, it was a very painful but enjoyable experience. I think that we both have many old wounds to heal, but are not too sure how to go about doing so. We are new to tantric sex and would appreciate any suggestions you might have. --G.
Dear G., Bravo for your bold and pure investigation into healing and growing! Tantric practice is about taking small risks that expand our consciousness and bliss state. It's a wonderful process that will add tremendously to your life. Be patient with yourself and feel the love that will be present for you.
The G-spot is actually an area rather than a spot. It changes in shape, size and sensitivity with different influences. It swells and becomes easier to find and stimulate further once it is aroused by touch.
Emotions seem to get stirred up when the G-spot is stimulated. Past trauma, as well as unexpressed emotions in the present, create holding or armoring in the vagina and the G-spot area.
When you and your partner are exploring this area, be very relaxed and in an open state of mind. Breathing deeply, making eye contact and verbally acknowledging the emotion or sensation that you're feeling helps to create a positive experience.
As you explore the G-spot, your partner should lighten his touch and gently hold the spot where the pain arises with the finger or fingers. You as the receiver should continue to relax and just feel what is present for you. Breathe through the pain and attempt to release it. This may take a few tries, but it's a good bet that old layers of emotional wounding will be released. Each time, when you feel as though you've had enough stimulation, express your appreciation to your partner.
All of the above can also be directly applied to the process that a man goes through to explore his prostate, or male G-spot.
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Learn about Kama Sutra, tantra and other sexual disciplines from Suzie Human at Tantra.com.
