Are you are a single woman over 50 who is about to enter into a sexually intimate relationship? If you haven’t had sex for a long time (maybe years), there are six things you should know before you step out of the sexual sidelines:
1. Consult with your gynecologist: You could have “widow’s syndrome.” If a woman in her menopausal years has abstained from sex, the walls of her vagina may have lost some of their elasticity. Continued abstinence may cause the walls of the vagina to atrophy. The result: discomfort. All of these conditions can be remedied with a visit to your doctor.
2. If you want a sexual life with a mature man, you must do some of the work. For older men, leakage of semen during arousal is common, as is a less forceful expulsion during coitus. The latter sometimes troubles men because they mistakenly believe that their partners can feel the expulsion, and that she is therefore less satisfied when it is no longer as forceful. Ladies, we owe it to them to tell them we do not feel the expulsion anyway.
Also, while older men require more manual stimulation, the fact that they need more time for lovemaking can actually be used to your advantage!
3. Disability does not mean no sex. Dr. Ruth once said that a man could give a woman an orgasm with his big toe, if both parties were willing. To cope with arthritic joints or other physical discomforts, adopt new positions, use pillows and focusing on exploring new erogenous zones.
4. About 200 medications affect sexual performance and desire. Medications are the first things that need to be reviewed with the doctor for performance problems in men and libido problems in both men and women. Although women may not experience the same magnitude of sexual side effects as men, what affects blood flow and nerve impulses in male sexual functioning most likely affects female sexual functioning as well.
5. Avoid premature sexual intimacy. Is your man worthy of your affection? Wait until you know and like (or love) his character and personality. Develop a foundation of emotional intimacy and caring first. Men over 50 have told me that they are willing to wait for a woman they really like -- one point for the loss of raging hormones.
6. You are never too old to be at risk for HIV. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta has recently reported that the fastest growing AIDS rates are among people age 50 and older. There was a time when retirees were only intimate with their long-term partners, and once widowed remained celibate. This is no longer the case. Greater numbers of older adults are dating and having sexual relations with new partners. Get yourself and your gentleman an AIDS test first!
