By Dr. P. Sándor Gardos Staff Sexologist, MyPleasure.com
Dear Dr. Gardos, My new boyfriend's penis is smaller than that of other men I have been with. We haven't had sex yet, but it made me start wondering: How big should a penis be to please a woman? -- Size Queen
Dear Size Queen, How big should a penis be? Small enough to fit through a door; big enough to find in a dark place.
Seriously though, this is not a simple question to answer. There are women who do prefer a large penis, but it is usually more for aesthetic reasons.
The vagina is actually a virtual space that expands and contracts to accommodate a penis. In addition, it does not have touch-sensitive nerve endings in its inner two-thirds. Thus, while some women who like the feeling of "fullness" say they can feel a difference, it is usually due to girth and not length. In fact, while I rarely receive letters from women complaining about penises being too small, I frequently get questions asking what to do about a penis that is painfully large.
You should also know that erection might be considered the great equalizer. Those men who have smaller penises when they are soft usually have a greater size increase than those with larger flaccid penises. Thus, the size differences between men are much less drastic if you compare them erect. While we have developed somewhat unrealistic standards based on stories and porn movies, the average size of an erect penis is actually quite modest: five-and-a-half inches.
Of course, there are variations like any body part, but unless your boyfriend is very small -- as in under three inches erect -- I wouldn't be too worried. For most women, the size of a penis is not nearly as important as how it is used. Experiment with positions that give you the kinds of sensations you desire and enjoy!
