By Dr. P. Sándor Gardos Staff Sexologist, MyPleasure.com
Dear Dr. Gardos, I am a happy, healthy woman in my late 50s. I'm in a wonderful relationship with a man with whom I have great sex. The only thing is, I can't seem to have an orgasm through intercourse -- I never have. I can, however, have orgasms easily through oral and manual stimulation. Is something wrong with me? -- Frustrated
Dear Frustrated, No, nothing is wrong with you. Only about 25 percent of women always have an orgasm during sex. And, only a minority of women are able to have orgasms through intercourse or vaginal stimulation alone.
The primary location of sexual excitement for most women is the clitoris. Even among those women who can have orgasms from intercourse, it is usually due to indirect stimulation of the clitoris. Some women do have orgasms from G-Spot (or even nipple) stimulation alone, but they are rare. Your situation is actually the norm!
So, what do you do? First, relax -- what you are experiencing is completely natural. Of course, you can make sure to get additional stimulation before, during or after intercourse -- whether manually, orally or otherwise. If you want to try to have an orgasm during intercourse, you can also stimulate yourself or have your partner stimulate you simultaneously.
What is most important is that you enjoy being with your partner (which it sounds like you do) and that you don't try to force something to happen. Be happy that you are able to have orgasms easily, and pursue them in whatever way works for you!
