Are you one of the millions of women experiencing some form of sexual difficulty and believe you just have to live with it? Well, you don't! There's help, because great strides are being made in understanding and developing treatments to help women have more fulfilling sex lives.

Sexuality and how we express it is an important part of being human. Difficulties with sex can lead to depression, relationship problems and low self-esteem. Many women have sexual problems, but they have no idea what they are experiencing and that there are remedies.

As a sex therapist, I counsel and treat men and women who have sexual problems. They are not alone. According to the 2004 Ebony Magazine Female Sex Survey, of the 8,000 respondents, 35 percent reported having difficulty achieving orgasm, 30 percent had a lack of sexual arousal, 25 percent had difficulty maintaining or achieving lubrication and about 12 percent reported pain in and around their genitals. Does this sound familiar to you?

Sexual dysfunction is persistent or recurrent problems throughout the sexual response cycle and include low sexual desire, low arousal and orgasmic problems, pain and other dysfunctions. Contributing causes may be emotional, psychological or physiological.

Sexual desire disorders occur when a person generally is not interested in sex. When women are overwhelmed with their life tasks, such as work, kids, spouse and other activities, sex often is the last thing on their minds, especially if they are angry or disenchanted with their partners. Men, on the other hand, are better able to compartmentalize their brains and focus on the task at hand -- sex. (Sexual aversion disorder indicates a feeling of total disgust with sex and refusal to engage in sex at all.)

With sexual arousal disorders, women may desire sex but do not become sufficiently aroused to complete the act. This is usually because of a lack of adequate lubrication needed to facilitate intercourse. Orgasmic disorders occur when a woman wants to have sex but is able only to climax partially or not at all. Some women have sexual pain during the act. (Dyspareunia is genital pain during intercourse, particularly during insertion. Vaginismus is severe spasm of the vagina that prevents penetration.) Other sexual dysfunctions may be caused by a medical condition, such as diabetes, hypertension or spinal injuries, or even by alcohol or drug use.

Since the advent of Viagra for men, there has been research to find remedies for female sexual problems. Some of these treatments include using Viagra (sildenafil) for women and hormonal cream therapies. Psychotherapy and behavioral techniques have been used in conjunction with medical treatment. It is important to treat related conditions -- such as diabetes or depression -- first because they may be the underlying cause for the sexual symptoms.

What You Can Do

• Talk to your partner: It is important to honestly communicate with your partner about what you are experiencing. Do not have this discussion in the bedroom, but when and where you both can focus on the issue. Be honest about what you have been experiencing, but do not blame your partner. Tell your partner what feels good and how he can help. This also can be fun as you show your partner the places you like to be touched and how. Also be open to consulting with a doctor or a psychotherapist who specializes in sexual issues. The therapist may recommend couples counseling.

• Talk honestly with your gynecologist: Don't be afraid to ask questions. It is your body and you have the right to know. Be your own advocate and help educate your doctor. If you feel that your doctor is not knowledgeable about sex issues, find another doctor who can take an active part in your treatment. You should also request hormonal testing. Hormones are a delicate dance within women's bodies. One out-of-sync hormone can cause a ripple effect in our bodies. And be aware that medications you take may have an affect on your sexual functioning. It is important to make sure your gynecologist is aware of all your medications.

Dr. Hope Ashby is a psychotherapist who specializes in women's sexual issues.

Source: Ebony. Provided by ProQuest Information and Learning.Powered by YellowBrix.

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