James from Laguna Niguel, Calif., stopped in my deli the other day. He said he has no problem meeting women. I asked how he did it. He says he meets women at Gelson's Market, an upscale market in Dana Point, Calif. (the city where my deli is located); at the local Farmer's Market on Saturday mornings; and while walking in our harbor. "Just walk up and start a conversation. It's that simple," said James.
When opportunity knocks, women should take advantage of it. Of course, don't toss away your ladylike qualities and become a piranha. Don't be too aggressive or pushy. But try saying something like, "It's a cold day. Would you like to join me for a cup of coffee?" That's all you have to say. (When you ask a man out for coffee, the treat is on you.)
Chances are, he may not be able to join you right then and there. But be ready for what he might say.
If he says he's married or in a relationship, don't be embarrassed. Just smile and say, "Well, she's a lucky woman."
If he says, "I can't now, but maybe later," you need to be prepared.
A single woman should carry a name card that she can hand to a man so that he has a way of contacting her. These cards are like business cards, but should limit personal information on the card so that a stranger can't trace where she lives or works. Just list a first name and the telephone number of an answering service that screens calls for you.
Keep in mind the four "A" words: attitude, availability, approachability and assertiveness. Implement them and watch your circle of male friends grow.
Tom Blake is a syndicated columnist in Southern California. To subscribe to his weekly "Finding Love After 50" newsletter, go to www.findingloveafter50.com.
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