Online sex definitely holds some attractions for men: You don't have to care about pleasing a woman, she certainly isn't going to complain about your performance in bed, and having an erection is optional (a man can have an orgasm without one).
Which brings us to the issue of erectile dysfunction, or as the author Tom Wolfe put it, "the disease that dares not speak its name." Men have a hard enough time admitting that they have ED to themselves, much less to anyone else -- including their wives.
Indeed, many men would rather shut down sexually than have to confront their inability to get or sustain an erection. While it's true that Viagra, Cialis and Levitra are big sellers, it's just as true that only about 20 percent of the men who could use those products ever get them.
Perhaps because of the shame men associate with impotence, relatively few of them report to us that ED is the reason they've stopped making love to their wives. On the other hand, when we poll women, they are far more likely to identify their husbands' erection difficulties as the culprit for his loss of desire.
About one in three men tell us they've had affairs after they stopped having sex with their wives. Four percent say they've realized they are gay, which incidentally is about the same as national population of gay men in America. Much of what we hear from the men who respond to our survey seems to suggest they have not lost interest in sex, just in being sexual with their wives.
In our next article, Susan will report on why the female respondents believe their husbands stopped being sexual, and how they've reacted to this problem in their marriage.
Now, we need your help. If you are, or have ever been, in a sexless marriage or in a committed relationship where the man ended sex, we would love to hear from you. Please click this link, which will take you to our survey. We need the help of both men and women. A few minutes of your time can provide invaluable insight into a problem affecting so many marriages. It will only take you about 10 minutes. Thank you!
Dr. Bob Berkowitz created a worldwide exclusive beat when he became the men's correspondent for NBC's "Today" show, exploring the inner world of men for more than four years. He is the author of the best-selling books What Men Won't Tell You, But Women Need to Know (HarperCollins, 1991) and His Secret Life: Male Sexual Fantasies. He is now co-writing with his wife, Susan Yager-Berkowitz, a new book called "He's Just Not Up for It Anymore: When Men Stop Having Sex, and What Women Are Doing About It." It is being published by William Morrow in 2008.
Source: Daily Record (UK). Powered by Yellowbrix.
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A recent survey reveals boomers value sex highly when it comes to marriage.
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