By Bob Berkowitz, Ph.D., and Susan Yager-Berkowitz, M.A.
QUESTION: I have a weight problem. I am dieting and exercising, but the weight loss is taking an extremely long time. My doctor told me that this is normal and to just be patient. In the meantime, I feel so unsexy! I am very aware of how heavy I look, and it makes intimacy difficult. Do you have any suggestions as to how I can keep my weight from ruining my sex life?
ANSWER: Firstly, we want to congratulate you on what sounds like both a strong commitment and an intelligent approach to weight loss. Your doctor is absolutely right that it takes a long time to take off excess weight successfully. After all, it took a long time to gain the weight, too. But, with your combination of eating less and exercising more, you will ultimately be successful.
It is understandable that you don't feel your sexiest when you perceive yourself as overweight. However, surely by now you are noticing a positive change -- and that should make you feel confident and proud, two very sexy attributes.
You did not mention if you are in a committed relationship. If so, it is likely that your partner is also delighted with your weight loss already -- and not only because of the new, thinner you, but also because he likely perceives this as you wanting to be more alluring for him. For many men, just the fact that their partners have seriously started to diet can work wonders for their libidos. They are flattered -- and also sometimes concerned that their new slimmer partner may attract some serious male competition! So, if you are in a relationship, stop worrying and enjoy yourself. Buy some pretty new lingerie and revel in even a small weight loss. It's only going to get better from here on!
Next: If you are not in a committed relationship >
