By Scot McKay
We know that "nice guys" tend to end up in the dreaded "just be friends" zone. But that doesn't stop women everywhere from claiming that's what they really want in a man. So what's the deal here?
As often seems to be the case, the true answer is a disarmingly simple one. "Nice" behavior by a man in and of itself is not what differentiates "keepers" from the "rejects" in the minds of women. To the contrary, it's all about HOW the man presents himself.
Make no mistake, it's not necessarily the I/Js (Idiot/Jerks) who get women -- ESPECIALLY the highest echelon of women. Being "good" or "bad" in and of itself is NOT the key, despite what you may have heard elsewhere. In fact, being a "bad boy" is at best a quick-fix for getting some women ...
Whether they are "good" or "bad," it is my informed and therefore strong opinion that guys rarely if ever get tossed into the "friendship" pile if they have succeeded in any way, shape or form at creating ATTRACTION. Sure, there's the rare instance when a truly sharp woman recognizes that a guy is flat-out no good for her despite her overpowering desire for him, but let's face it: That wasn't a GOOD MAN she was dealing with anyway ...
So here it is: The difference between a genuinely good man who ATTRACTS women and one who ultimately does not is centered around from what position he is coming from in performing his "good guy" behavior. Men who act "nice" from a position of WEAKNESS end up rejected. Men who are in a position of STRENGTH, yet who treat women well, often make women so crazy for them that they have more options than they can handle.
As always, I'm happy to break it down for you. Here are some key differentiators between "nice guys" who finish first and those who ... well ... don't.
The Nice Guy Who Finishes Last (Having Come From a Position of Weakness):
- Capitulate to women's whims. "Yes, dear." "Whatever you want, honey." Men only say this to avoid conflict (at best) or (at worst) because they pathetically think that their efforts will somehow impress a woman. Women smell insincerity a mile away. Sorry.
- Is afraid to lose the woman he is with. Therefore, they literally bend over backward not to "upset" her or say the wrong thing. Despite the obvious desperation involved here, arguably the most unattractive aspect of all this to a woman is how BORING it is.
- Has zero leadership ability. Guys often hear that "if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." So the thought process is geared toward letting them make decisions and letting them get what they want. Unfortunately, women have a level of respect for a man that correlates to his level of leadership in a relationship. Zero leadership equals zero respect ... which, logically, equals zero second dates.
- Lacks confidence. If you are worried she won't like you, she probably won't. And similarly, if you act "nice" because you haven't the courage to stand up for yourself, she'll likely walk all over you ... disgusted by every second of it.
- Has thinly-veiled ulterior motives. Nobody likes to be "brown nosed" or "buttered up." There is no more blatant display of viewing a woman as a purely sexual object than to go overboard being "nice." She knows, you know and the rest of the world knows you wouldn't be so "nice" if she wasn't so sexy. Consider how weak this appears to a woman. End of story.
Next: The good man who wins >
