By ThirdAge expert Marcia Wieder, America's Dream Coach
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. --Henry David Thoreau
Most people think of dreams either as some kind of unattainable fantasy, or as something they do in their sleep. Neither of those definitions are what I mean when I speak of dreams. I define dreams as the aspirations, desires, goals and hopes that you most want for yourself. Moreover, these are the kind of dreams you have while you are very much awake.
Making your dreams come true gives you the chance to reinvent your Life's Purpose. This is really nothing more than defining who you are in the world in relation to yourself and the people around you. Your sphere of influence includes your family, colleagues and any social context you find yourself in. It also encompasses each feature of your life, whether it's your work or the private, personal time you're always striving to get more of. Each of these "pieces" has their part in your world, embodied in your Purpose and driven by your dreams.
And, underlying your Purpose is the passion that moves you. It's what makes you feel excited and enthusiastic, aligned in body, mind and heart. It may be what you felt when you were first married, or had your first real "grown-up" job. Yet, over the years it faded into the obscurity of time, somewhere between the 6:00 a.m. alarm blast and the 11:00 p.m. newscast. Now you find yourself questioning, "What's next for me?" I can't answer that for you, but I can tell you that living a life without passion shouldn't be an option.
You see, when your life lacks passion, daily life takes on a lackluster quality of just being a ("yawn") chore. Who wants to live a life like that? Take this opportunity to engineer the life you deserve to have, to finally commit to the dreams that will get you there. Those dreams will naturally emerge out of your Purpose, determining the direction in which your life will be moving. To make your dreams come true, you'll want to know how to formulate the type of dreams that will steer you on the right course.
Perhaps you're wondering about the difference between your Purpose and your dreams. Your Purpose is fundamental; it's who you are. Dreams are the mechanisms by which you bring your Purpose, deliberately, into your day-to-day experiences.
Dreams also can help eliminate those aspects of life that are inconsistent with your Purpose. For example, my own Purpose is to "joyously self-express." Some dreams may make me happy, while others may not allow any Magic (i.e., extraordinary results) into my life. By measuring my dreams against my Purpose, I can tell if what I've chosen will move me forward with passion to live the life I want.
This activity is not intended to turn obligations into dreams, or visa versa. Yes, you have to pay the rent and handle other responsibilities, but those activities get scheduled into reality anyway.
Creating dreams is about getting your life where you want it to be. For instance, if you have a specific financial issue, create a dream within the Financial area that expresses who you are. The financial dream for a person who wants to live life as an adventure may be different than the financial dream for someone who wants to be in a committed relationship.
Developing dreams is part of the process necessary for gaining insight into what really matters or doesn't matter to you. This is different from the traditional goal-setting practice in business, where a desired outcome is selected and a completion date is designated. In this instance, our goal is to eliminate inconsistencies. To achieve your dream, everything from this point forward needs to be done from the perspective of your Purpose. Keep checking in, making sure you're passionate about your dreams.
I call this process of checking in "Standing in Your Life's Purpose," meaning that it's essential to "be" the Purpose you define. Even though you may not yet feel at ease with the Purpose you stated, assume that you do and that the comfort from living life a life based on Purpose will follow. Just trust.
Don't expect that everything in your life will from the start be in alignment with your Purpose. In fact, while you're learning, it makes more sense to focus on a particular facet of your life. To help you choose which aspects you want to concentrate on, use the "Dream Areas" exercise found later in this article. Decide not only which areas you want to pinpoint, but what there is about them that needs attention.
Perhaps you find your relationships boring, and you want to establish ones that are fun. Maybe you want to become involved in your community in a more creative, innovative or substantive way than before. Use the Dream Areas form to list the facets of your life and what there is to explore about them. In addition, there is a visualization exercise presented later to guide you through the actual exploration.
When the Dream Areas form has been completed, review it and choose one category to use right now. When you've mastered one area, you can go back and use the same techniques to make your dreams come true in the other areas of your life.
Remember that your dreams serve two purposes. First, they enable you to incorporate your Purpose into your daily life, and secondly, they serve as a tool for eliminating inconsistencies. Be sure that there is no disparity between the dreams listed on the "Dream Areas" form and your Life's Purpose. One way to do that is to role play. In other words, to "be" your Life's Purpose, ask yourself: "If this is who I am as my Life's Purpose, is this an appropriate dream? Does it line up? Does it turn me on?"
Also, don't carry over any dreams from an old list, or from what your parents or others wanted and expected from you. The values you develop today are the ones by which to live your future life. And of course you future starts now. If you develop dreams that seem contradictory, don't worry if you can't immediately figure out how you're going to "have it all." Just assume you will work it out.
Dream Areas to Explore
The categories listed below are some facets of your life you initially might want to explore. You don't have to limit yourself to these; just be sure to select areas that are important to you.
If my Life's Purpose is ________________ ...
- My Family dream is: ______________
- My Financial dream is: ______________
- My Fitness dream is: ______________
- My Friendship dream is: ______________
- My Fun dream is: ______________
- My Health/Well-Being dream is: ______________
- My Outrageous dream is: ______________
- My Personal dream is: ______________
- My Professional dream is: ______________
- My Recreational dream is: ______________
- My Relationships dream is: ______________
- My Other dreams are: ______________
As America's Dream Coach(r), Marcia Wieder travels the world as an ambassador for making dreams real. In addition to being a charismatic speaker, she's the renowned author of three books dedicated to achieving your dreams: "Making Your Dreams Come True," "Life Is But a Dream," and "Doing Less and Having More." Her most exciting venture is My Dream Circle, where she is having amazing success helping people from all walks of life achieve their personal and professional dreams. Find out more at www.dreamcoach.com.
