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In my own marriage, I was the one who drove Grandma and Grandpa to their numerous doctor's appointments. My ex-in-laws don't drive and my schedule is the easiest to rearrange, so I have always been the designated chauffeur. Did the end of the marriage signal the end to this arrangement? Did compassion go out the window along with the marriage vows? Were Grandpa and Grandma going to be held hostage while this was worked out? It was a delicate issue: they were afraid to bring it up for fear of sounding selfish and I had other concerns on my mind. We eventually reached a compromise that involves my former husband taking some time off work for some of the doctor visits, and me driving on other days. No judge would ever consider such issues -- this is uncharted territory in divorce land. So what's the answer to the fringe parties involved in a divorce? How much say do in-laws have in how things work out? Although it might be nice to have all these things written down or decided by a judge, instead we're left to figure out what will work best for our individual situations. I guess that's just the way it is -- family members continue to struggle, only this time they're doing it from different houses. Have you, or a friend or a family member gone through a divorce? How did you deal with it? What parts of the situation were easiest? Hardest? Share your perspective.
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