Another Relationship Difference

It must really be true that opposites attract because more and more research is coming out indicating that there are definite differences between the sexes.

The newest research findings are that there are gender differences in the area of arguing.  The typical disputes between couples are about children, sex, housework, finances, leisure activities, and alcohol usage.  However, the topic of arguments or the frequency of them is less important than the manner in which they are resolved. 

A big difference

To be more specific, there are both men and women who choose not to express their reactions to a conflict.  However, this choice will have a different consequence to their health.  The findings were that when men self-silence, nothing bad happens.  However, in the 10-year period of the study, when women stay bottled-up, they were four times more likely to die than their counterparts who spoke up!  This finding held regardless of whether the women reported feeling happy or unhappy in her marriage.

Furthermore, as was found in another study, when a woman doesn’t speak up it can also have other negative impacts on her both psychologically and physically;  it can result in depression or in an eating disorder.  Additionally, yet another study found that the types of interactions between spouses were as good an indicator of heart disease as whether someone smoked or had high cholesterol.

Arguing style also has a bearing on one’s heart health.  A critical, hostile arguing style by men can negatively impact a woman’s heart and a man’s heart is impacted if there’s a battle for control. 

Help is on the way

So, once again, it’s a myth to think that as a couple you’re never going to fight.  Conflicts are inevitable.  However, there are different ways to approach one another.  As I’ve said in a previous post, the way a couple argues can predict whether they will thrive or divorce.
 
In actuality, the proper handling of conflicts can actually bring you closer.  And now, as is being reported, there’s an extra benefit to learning skills to manage your conflicts -- your health.

I don’t believe in coincidences.  It turns out I am offering a free teleseminar again on “How to Fight So You Both Win.”  It’s being presented on Thursday, October 11 at 9:00 PM (EST) / 6:00 PM (PCT).  To join the call, simply dial: 1.646.519.5800 and then enter Pin # 3017#.

Skills for conflict management can be learned.  Why not listen in -- it could save your life!