Q&A
What does Tantra say about oral sex? I was taught that giving or receiving of oral sex was WRONG! Am I missing out?
What are the teachings about oral sex? I was taught that either the giving or receiving of oral sex was WRONG! My husband has asked me for years why I don't want to try this. Am I missing something that is not altogether wrong, but enjoyable?
Tantra teaches us that there is personal growth possible when we risk our beliefs and stretch to try something new. I applaud you for even asking the question! You are being courageous!
It is VERY hard to overcome the beliefs and teachings from our parents, schools, ministers and community. Many of the things we learn as children and adolescents are for our own good and come from the wisdom and experience of our elders. Yet, in general, western cultures have much healing to do around the issues of sexuality and pleasure.
Pleasure is your birthright. The clitoris on a woman is only there for pleasure - it has no other purpose. It isn’t stimulated much on most women during intercourse. It needs direct attention and there isn’t anything more wonderful than a partner who’s willing to give you that attention. Try to receive this gift. This will be a difficult task for you but one that I am sure you will love the outcome of! You are indeed missing something wonderful and not nasty at all!
Further, I encourage you to consider honoring your husband and surprising him by giving him oral sex. There are many good books and videos that are in very good taste that can teach you some basics. Many women love giving oral sex and I encourage you to find out if you are one of them!
Make the experience special by setting aside a long evening and lighting candles and putting some great music on. Have a little fruit and chocolate by the bed, for feeding each other. You may even want to have a tiny bowl of room temperature hot-fudge-Sunday sauce to put on your husband. That could help you get started a little easier and really add spice to the experience. One caution, though, wash him before intercourse. It isn’t very good for the PH balance in the vagina to add even a hint of sugar as it can cause infections.
Tease him and make him last. Don’t let him go over the top too soon. You are in control - enjoy it while you’ve got it. Be playful and vulnerable. Let your partner know how you’re feeling and have fun!
For more information about Suzie Heumann and her work, visit www.tantra.com. To really get the most out of your loving, consider some advanced training. The Tantric Sex Guide is your 24 hour a day guide to the skills that will take you to new heights of pleasure and intimacy.
