Suzie Heumann

The celebration of St. Valentine's Day began as the Romans' festival to the Goddess of Love Fever, Juno Februata, and included a tradition of writing women's names on strips of paper. Young men would then choose the notes and erotic games would ensue.

Much later, St. Valentine (whom scholars say is mythical) became the patron of lovers. Though the Christian holidays were a much more toned-down affair, the sexual rites of early spring, even in the Middle Ages, involved secret rituals, love potions and spells. How romantic! Read more…

The old line "Just do what comes naturally" when it comes to sex doesn't work for about 90 percent of the population. Virtually no one was taught about sex and pleasure as a young person in this society. We are all left to reinvent the wheel, so to speak.

Today it's an easier process because of the information culture that we have created. It is still difficult, though, to get quality information. And you don't really want to get it from Cosmopolitan or Redbook because of the unrealistic spin that women's magazines tend to put on most subjects they write about. If you are getting a lot of your sexual knowledge from sex magazines or pornography, you're really going to be confused and possibly let down Read more…

If you are one of the 23 percent of U.S. couples (34 percent if you live in Canada) sleeping in separate beds, there are a handful of reasons why you might be keeping your space, so to speak. Stress, different work schedules, snoring, tossing and turning, “morning” or “evening” personality types and feelings of anger or resentment are some of the most common reasons.

Reasons for Sleeping Separately
If you’ve not yet made the move out of the marriage bed, but you’re definitely considering it, be sure to think through your options before taking any steps. While it may be practical and necessary in many situations, giving some thought to the reasons, and the potential consequences, is always a good idea. Read more…

Many of us live in a state of constant rush, with stress at every turn. Learning to focus our attention can be extremely difficult.

It's precisely the elements of focus and consciousness, however, that are so important to Tantra and Tantric sex. Focus allows you to drop into an even deeper connection with your lover. Connection means that you feel a deep understanding and vital essence in the other person's presence that makes both of you feel bonded.

Try some of these things below, and "being conscious" will begin to occur for you more often: Read more…

Tantric philosophy says that the search for knowledge is in everything you do, see and experience. Being aware of your senses -- touch, smell, taste, sight and hearing -- and using them consciously will create a more mindful life. That is why sensuality and sexuality, which draw heavily on the five senses, are such important components of Tantra. Being aware of your body and immersing yourself in sensuality can teach you exquisite lessons.

Create an evening with your lover that heightens the senses. The point of this evening is to treat your partner to a complete sensory experience. By blindfolding him or her, you block one of the senses so as to heighten the others. Prepare everything you'll need ahead of time, so that the experience can unfold without disruption. Read more…

The word "healing" pops up a lot in connection with everything from physical health to emotional health to psychic health to sexual health. This liberal use suggests a general trend toward promoting healthy whole-body systems that better serve us as human beings. It's a mind-body-spirit lifestyle approach. Read more…

Men's sexual fantasies and dreams often contain elements of oral sex. This has been true for so long that it's even covered in the Kama Sutra and earlier texts like the Kama Shastra.

There's something mysterious and forbidden about oral sex, yet it's desirability cannot be denied. The control and surrender, the visual aspects for the couple, and the vulnerable nature of an act that has had a history of shame surrounding it are powerful motivators.

Oral sex can often be a source of struggle for couples when one partner wants it and the other does not want to give it or get it. However, when both partners really enjoy giving and receiving oral sex, it's an erotic and arousing addition to lovemaking. Read more…

For almost everything we do in life, there's a long version and a short version. You normally sleep a full night, but you might also take short naps. You usually sit down to a full meal, but you might also stop at the corner burrito shop for lunch on the run. And when it comes to sex, we sometimes have a lot more time than others, so the quickie becomes a necessity in everyone's relationship.

Since women usually take longer to warm up for sex, the quickie usually means that only the man gets satisfied. And for that reason, it's a double-edged sword -- she may want it, but she won't likely get much out of it except frustration. But you can beat the bad rap with the Tantric "quickie."

The point of the Tantric quickie is to: Read more…

Every lover and every relationship will come to the place of wanting more -- more intimacy, sexual activity and creativity. In a maturing relationship, we tend to stop exploring and being inventive. We reach the limits of our personal knowledge and experience and begin to desire something new and different, yet without knowing how to create it. Unreasonable fantasies, avoidance of sexual activity, lack of intimacy or even separation can be the consequences of a simple case of bedroom boredom. Read more…