KarenSherman

How Are Your Relationships Going?

Sometimes, life seems so complicated especially when it involves your relationships with other people. How should you act? What should you say? Should you continue to do what you've been doing? Is what you've been doing or saying the best way to go about what you're hoping to accomplish? If someone means something to you, you certainly want things to go as smoothly as possible. At times, the individual you are dealing with may not have personal emotional significance but it's still important how your interactions go because (s)he is your boss, important to your significant other, or will somehow impact those for whom you care. Are you spinning your wheels? Yes, personal interactions are delicate. So, how do you figure it out? More…

Different Kinds of Love

Somewhere along the way, you have most likely learned that Eskimos have many different names for snow. In our society, how often you may hear the words, "I love you." Of course, no doubt you realize that there are different kinds of love: the love between a parent and child, the love exchanged between two friends, and certainly those words are used in relationship to your partner. But even when discussing the relationship between two people, there are different kinds of love. And perhaps if you're not aware of this, you can easily be disappointed and feel that the relationship you have is missing something. A recent article I read spoke about the fact that a couple can, in fact, have romantic love that lasts a lifetime. Love in all shapes and sizes More…

Relationship Red Flags

If you have been a reader of my posts, then you know that I often tell you that good relationships are quite rewarding -- but in order to have one, you have to work at it. Today, I want to address some of the ways to know if the person you're meeting will even make a good candidate with whom to have a relationship. I've also cautioned you, as the reader, that a person is unlikely to change once they're in a partnership. Who you see is who you are going to get. And for sure, you don't have the right to expect to change the person. Why you get in trouble But there are indicators to help you make a decision -- yes, those "red flags." More…

Are You Stuck in Regret?

Have you ever made a mistake? Of course, you have. We all have. Do you look back at some of those mistakes or choices you made and have regrets? My guess is that many of you are answering in the affirmative. I decided to write about this because of a conversation I had recently with someone very dear to me. And the truth is that if you're walking around filled with regret and remorse it's going to impact how you feel about yourself and also affect your relationships. It certainly seems to be a topic worthy of discussion. More…

Springtime all the Time

Of all the seasons, Springtime is my favorite.  I just delight as I watch the buds on the trees and the flowers start to bloom.  I’m always amazed at the consistency each year of the beauty in the world around me that re-awakens; I can count on this phenomenon after the dreariness of the last few months, given where I reside.   It truly rejuvenates me and also serves as a reminder to me that the opportunity to start anew also exists in your relationships with others or within yourself.  What’s more, unlike nature, you do not have to wait for a certain time of year for this to happen. It’s all about you More…

Relationship Mechanic

It’s so interesting to me that many times, as people, we do things that really make no sense.  In the past, I’ve spoken about how you’re willing to spend lots and lots of time checking out which jeans to buy or which computer will really suit you.  But you don’t spend nearly the same amount of energy exploring if you should speak to a professional about your own personal psychological health or that of your relationship. Here’s another analogy that boggles the mind (at least mine):  Some of you pamper your autos by washing it and cleaning it out.  Most of you will make sure that you take your car for regular maintenance check-ups.  Or, at the very least, you are diligent that your car runs smoothly be changing the oil.   More…

Lessons for Each Gender – Part 2

In last week’s post, I discussed the fact that I’m always learning from the couples with whom I work.  What is ever so clear is that teaching couples a basic understanding of one another and educating them about skills is of the utmost importance.  So many partners are feeling disappointed or disconnected from one another but don’t have a road map of how to reconnect. In Part 1, I spoke about women needing to be aware (or needing to remember) that men process information differently.  They tend to do so slower.  Therefore, a woman may get frustrated or feel like a man is non-responsive when, in fact, he’s still taking the information in. And now for the men More…

Lessons for Each Gender – Part 1

I always find my work with people so fascinating because, though there are so many commonalities, there are also a variety of specifics that each person or each couple brings in.  And through my work in sessions with people, I find that I grow as a therapist as well. Recently, I realized that there is something that needs to be spelled out regarding how people in a relationship interact with one another.  More and more, it’s apparent that specific information is not readily known.  But when these details can be enumerated for a struggling couple, it will make their partnership much easier.   More…

A Stitch in Time …

As I’ve often said before, one of the most important concerns to any of us is the relationship we have with our mate.  Unfortunately, it hasn’t been until recent years that it was realized that most people don’t know what’s needed in order to sustain a truly happy and healthy partnership.   Somehow, it was assumed that people would just know how to be in love -- or, perhaps more accurately, that if you were in love, that was all that was needed.  To help further this fantasy, people turned to movies, books, and songs to get a better sense of what love should “look like.”  And now, sadly, our divorce rate hovers around 50%. New awareness More…

Making Lemonade from Lemons

Have you ever listened to a promo for the 11:00 news and heard something like this: “Family’s house burns down, all is lost, stay tuned at 11:00.” Then you listen in and, in fact, all has been lost -- the house as well as all the belongings. Yet, the family is interviewed and manages to seem okay reporting that at least they all made it out including the cat. The kicker is that they also report looking forward to the opportunity to building a new and better house! Why is it that some people can face adversity without experiencing so much stress? How is it that some people can deal with challenges and see them as opportunities? It turns out that these individuals have a trait called hardiness. Some background More…