KarenSherman

A Relationship That’s Close to the Breast

Many of you may know that October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. In a couple of weeks, I'll be participating in the 5-mile walk at Jones Beach, NY to help raise funds for this important cause. I've been doing this event for the last 19 years. I remember the first time I was there; I looked around me and to the back of me and was amazed at all the people who were there in attendance. And I am pleased to say that each year those numbers have increased. More…

Learning From Last Week's Financial Stress

The news of the past week in the financial world has certainly been dismal and frightening. Some people have lost their jobs, others will have had this happen to their offspring, and still more will have their retirement monies affected. The truth is that most likely everyone will be impacted in some way whether it is directly or indirectly. It's stating the obvious that this is a time of stress. Perhaps what is different about this situation is that it is impacting so many people all at once. In reality, there is always stress both for individuals and for relationships. More…

Another Relationship Myth: As Time Goes By

  No doubt, most people in long-term relationships realize that to have a successful one, it takes work. What may make it even more difficult are the various myths that have been passed down and are still believed by many. At some point in the past, I wrote about the myth of not going to bed angry. In today's blog, I'd like to talk about the idea that many of you have that when you are with someone for a long time, you grow apart. Some facts First, let's talk about the research. Dr. John Gottman has done very impressive studies in a number of areas concerning how couples get along. One of his findings is that 69% of the time couples are not compatible with one another! That's right -- you read it correctly -- are not. More…

Rituals That Enhance Your Relationship

When you get to the bottom line, the reason that you want to be in a relationship is because you want to know that you matter to someone else. In this big world of millions of people, having a partner, lets you know that someone cares about you, that you are accepted, that you are not lost among the crowds. This desire for feeling connected really stems back to the initial need for attachment to a caring figure as a child. Of course, the biggest problem in a relationship that I see couples come in with is a sense of disconnection and feeling that he or she does not matter to his or her partner. The question then becomes how do you let your mate know that he or she really is important to you? More…

Enjoying New Relationships

How very fortunate I am! I’ve just returned home from a vacation to Eastern Europe. It was certainly a whirlwind tour. In just one week, we saw Budapest, Vienna, and Prague. So much history, so many stories, and so many facts to digest. The more the merrier Aside from all the beauty and splendor of the actual sites, I truly believe that what made the trip so enjoyable was the group of people who were touring together. If you have ever been on a tour, you know that if people are not punctual, it can be quite upsetting. Or, if there is someone who is negative or annoying, it will absolutely impact the rest of the group. More…

Basic Distrust in Relationships

I know that most of my blogs are about relationships as they pertain to couples. In the last few postings, I’ve deviated a bit but that’s because I truly believe that relationships with oneself or with one’s extended world also are significant. Not only are they important but I believe they are all interconnected. That having been said, I want to share two incidents that occurred to me recently that had to do with helping strangers and with fear. The incidents More…

Birthday Wisdom

As I told you in last week's blog, I had a milestone birthday recently. And though I'm not going to share exactly which one it was, suffice it to say that I've reached the halfway point. Of course, it's up to you to decide what's halfway! The point is that though I usually don't find age an issue, I did find this one somewhat daunting. Many just laugh it off and say, "Well it beats the alternative." The change More…

Relationships Lessons From My Birthday

A few weeks ago, it was my birthday. For those of you who are regular readers of my posts, you may remember that birthdays are a big deal in my family. This year was an especially big deal since it was a milestone. I can't deny the fact that I did expect that my husband would do something special for me, and I had let him know some parameters of what I would and would not like. After all, no sense giving advice that I'm not going to follow myself. I absolutely believe that, as women, we do ourselves in when we don't ask for what we want. More…

The Relationship Danger Zones

  Through the course of my many postings, one of the recommendations I’ve often made is the need to have proper expectations in your relationships. So often, when the experience does not live up to what you expected, you’re disappointed and it leads to trouble between you and your mate. In today’s blog, I want to address the danger zones that a long-term relationship is likely to encounter. In most cases, the couple will be married; though, it is possible that they might not be. It’s my belief that if the couple anticipates the potential bumps along the way, they’ll be more prepared to deal with the stress rather than thrown by it, perhaps thinking that something is wrong with them. And Then There Were Three More…

Increasing Emotional Connections in Your Relationship – Part 3

  Years ago, there was a very famous study done by Harlowe & Harlowe with rhesus monkeys. They created surrogate mothers by forming the shape of a monkey with wire. Some of the “mothers” were rigged up to give the baby monkeys food; the others had cloth on them but did not offer food. During times of anxiety, the baby monkeys sought contact comfort by going to the cloth “mothers” rather than those who offered food. This famous study has long been referenced to indicate the need for attachment and comfort in relationships. Relationships, clearly, are so important. Good relationships are not only satisfying but necessary both for our physical and psychological health. Monkey see, monkey do. More…