ConnieGoldman

Let's Celebrate Age

Everyone has a personal soapbox, something they feel strongly about and will loudly and passionately speak out if anyone will listen. For over twenty-five years I’ve been talking, writing, and producing public radio programs on a subject that people don’t always want to hear about --- aging. In fact, the reason I originally became interested in the subject was that my friends turning fifty, fifty-five and sixty were finding a dozen ways to avoid, deny, evade, and abort any discussion of their age. Hey, we loved turning twenty-one, it opened new worlds. Why wouldn’t additional years continue to present expanding horizons? More years, more life experience, wider perspective, more knowledge. It looked like a plus to me. More…

Late-Life Love: The Final (Blog) Chapter

My publisher sent out a press release last week on my forthcoming book Late Life Love: Romance and New Relationships in the Later Years (Fairview Press, 2006). They announced it as a new book featuring 22 couples, “older adults who have re-mated, reinventing themselves in the process”. For me, this is one of the major points I hoped to emphasize as each couple reveals their personal story. More…

Late-Life Love: Following Your Own Path

Today I'm writing more on the subject of Late Life Love: Romance & New Relationships in Late Years the title of my forthcoming book due out in October. One of the proofreaders expressed surprise at the inclusion of a gay couple and also a lesbian couple, Grace and Amelia, who live very openly and have discovered their freedom to make such choices in their later years. The same-sex couples expressed an attitude not unlike the heterosexual partners who expressed opinions like, "It never really occurred to me to care what my children or the neighbors thought," and "Why would I, in my 70s, give a hoot about what people think?" I found a pattern of independence and maturity in how each couple designed their relationship. Ed had a couple of long-lasting male relationships, but when he met Michael, he was living alone. Michael had been married and had two grown children. Here is some of their story in their own words. More…

Seeking Late-Life Love: Age Brings Freedom to Redesign Relationships

Charles and Joan live in different countries, yet are deeply committed to one another, eagerly plan their times together, yet desire and preserve the independence of their times apart. Sharon and Alex grew up opposed to premarital sex and cohabitation; yet now enjoy a passionate, live-in relationship of their own. Friends Lillian and George married out of apparent convenience, only to grow to love one another as the marriage progressed. And Grace and Amelia, at one time in traditional heterosexual marriages, now share a rich and full life in their later years. More…

Romance and New Relationships in the Later Years

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A Life Lesson Comes Home

I can't tell you how many times in the past twenty-five years since I’m been writing and speaking on living well in the later years, that I've said, "In the time of your life when you slow up some, you finally have an opportunity to smell the daisies." I advocate examining the pace so many of us live at; the crammed daily calendar, the long “to-do” lists, the tight schedule of our own making. Other bloggers on the Third Age have approached this subject from the point of view of staying healthy, living with more awareness, taking time to take care of yourself, and other valid perspectives. I’ve just learned the hard lesson that saying “slow down” doesn’t necessarily allow it to happen. Here’s my personal story of what made me listen to my own words and finally fully understand. More…

The Secret of Attitude

Yesterday I was on a flight from Los Angeles to the Midwest.  Actually I was on the plane, parked at the LA airport for over an hour before they rounded up enough crew to take off. This was after I was one of the chosen few in the security line that was asked to step aside for a more thorough inspection.  Between returning my leased car and finally getting on the plane and having my private search for weapons or whatever, it took as long as the flight home once it took off. More…

THOUGHTS ON GETTING OLDER

Those of you who read my blog often know that I’m a collector of quotes, How about this one? “My interest is in the future because I am going to spend the rest of my life there” or “We make our future by the best use of the present”. I regret I don’t know who said these gems. One was in some notes I took during a lecture and I think the other one came from a line in a movie because I found it in the pile on my desk scribbled on a piece of a popcorn box. When I read them aloud to my daughter the other day she commented, “Wise words Mom, for any of us at any age.” More…

An Essay of Thanksgiving

One Thanksgiving morning, several years ago, I was in my kitchen racing with time to get everything done before hungry family and friends arrived for my annual November feast. I was listening to Morning Edition on public radio to keep me company during the early hour reserved for stuffing the turkey. The program host introduced a woman named Hilary Nelson who was about to read a story on gardening to honor Thanksgiving. A story about gardening?  That seems inappropriate for Thanksgiving, I remember thinking. But it was right on the mark. Here’s a portion of her tale of thanks. More…

CAREGIVING -- A FAMILY AFFAIR

These past weeks I’ve been sharing some stories from my book, The Gifts of Caregiving – Stories of Hardship, Hope and Healing. Here are two stories about caregiving as a family affair. When Barb’s Aunt Carol died she had been a nursing home diagnosed with Alzheimer’s for almost ten years. The day she died, Barb sat with her, held her hand, talked to her and sang familiar songs. Now she takes care of Uncle Bert, Aunt Carol’s husband is frail and now totally alone. For as long as Barb could remember her mother took care of everyone in the family who was ill.  When her mother died three years ago, Barb assumed the responsibility of the family primary caregiver. More…