JedDiamond

'Tis the Season to Be ... Jolly, I Wish, but the Truth Is, Depressed

Author of Male Menopause and The Irritable Male Syndrome.  Come visit me at www.MenAlive.com and www.TheIrritableMale.com.  Personal questions or concerns?  Write me at Jed@MenAlive.com Ever since I can remember, I’ve felt like I should be happy for the holidays.   From the time I was a kid, Halloween was trick-or-treat fun and lots of candy.  Thanksgiving was a time for family to gather and eat good food.  Christmas and Chanukah (I celebrated both) was a time for fun and games and gifts.  My birthday, on December 21st , sometimes got lost in all the holiday hubbub, but it was never forgotten.  I always knew I should be happy, but the truth was I was often sick or depressed.  More…

Midlife Marriage Woes: How to Know When to Let It Go and When to Work Harder to Keep It Alive

  Author of Male Menopause and Surviving Male Menopause.  Visit me at www.MenAlive andwww.TheIrritableMale.com.  Personal concerns?  Write me at Jed@MenAlive.com I see many people in my practice and have many friends in my life who are in turmoil.  They are at midlife or beyond, have been married for a significant amount of time, have had their ups and downs with their relationship, but now face a major dilemma.  Should I leave my marriage and move on with my life or should I try harder to make it work?  Some people are afraid of leaving too soon.  “I love this person and don’t want to let that go if there is any hope we can re-vitalize our marriage.  Others are afraid of staying too long.  “What if I stay and things continue to go down hill.  I’m afraid it will be too late to start over.”  All are in pain and all desperately want answers that are helpful. More…

Loves Me, But Not In Love With Me: Understanding the Midlife Love Triangle

  Author of Male Menopause & The Irritable Male Syndrome.  Come visit me at www.MenAlive.com and www.TheIrritableMale.com Since I’ve been counseling mid-life couples over the last 40 years, I’m hearing this line repeated more and more often.  “He says he loves me, but he’s not in love.”  This is usually followed by a woman’s sigh, sometimes tears and continued pain.  “It’s just devastating to me.  I love this man and want to spend the rest of our lives together.  What can I do?”  From the men I often hear, “I still love her, I really do, but something’s changed.  I just don’t feel turned on to her the way I used to.  I don’t think the feeling will ever come back.  It just isn’t fair to either of us to stay in a marriage without passion.  I think I should leave.”  This seems to be a dilemma among more and more mid-life couples. More…

Do We Accept Our Limitations or Push Through Them?

  Author of Male Menopause and The Irritable Male Syndrome.  Come visit me at www.MenAlive.com and www.TheIrritableMale.com.  Dealing with an unexpected major illness (in my case, a blood clot) has run me up against some of my old issues.  I’ve always been one of those guys who felt he could do anything.  I had a mother who always encouraged and supported my efforts.  I buy into the New Age philosophies that say, “whatever we believe we can achieve.”  For the most part, this way of thinking and feeling has been helpful in my life.  But there are times that I beat my head against a brick wall convinced that I can do something that just is not meant to be.  I’ve always wrestled with the question of when to accept limits and when to keep pushing until I achieve my goals. More…

Why We Should Ban Voting Machines

Author of Male Menopause, Surviving Male Menopause, and The Irritable Male SyndromePlease visit me at www.MenAlive.com and www.TheIrritable Male.com or drop me a line at Jed@Menalive.com As another election draws near, I remember elections past when I was growing up in Southern California.  My parents were what might today be called "progressives."  They believed in the rights of all people—young and old, rich and poor, black and white.  Even then, they believed there was a need for a third party.  They didn’t believe either the Democrats or the Republicans truly spoke to the needs of the average person.  I’ll never forget election nights.  They would cast their vote for a candidate who I learned never had a chance to win.  However, what I remember most was a strange occurrence that took place late in the evening. More…

The Doctor Without and The Doctor Within

Author of Male Menopause and The Irritable Male Syndrome.  Come visit me at www.MenAlive.com and www.TheIrritableMale.com.  If you have a personal question or concern write me at Jed@Menalive.com. Recovering now from having a blood clot removed, I am incredibly grateful for the knowledge, skill, and compassion of the doctors who helped me survive.  My family doctor alerted me to the possibility of a clot.  The emergency room doctor correctly diagnosed the problem.  A specialist in emergency medicine prescribed the treatment.  And a skilled vascular surgeon made sure that the clot was successfully removed.  But there’s another doctor I would like to thank.  That’s the “Doctor Within.” More…

When Bad Things Happen to Healthy People

Author of Male Menopause and The Irritable Male Syndrome.If you have personal questions or comments you can reach me at Jed@MenAlive.comor visit my websites at:  www.MenAlive.com and www.TheIrritableMale.com Those of you who follow my writing know that I was in the hospital recently when I was diagnosed with DVT, Deep Vein Thrombosis.  DVT is a common but serious medical condition that occurs in approximately two million Americans each year. DVT occurs when a thrombus (blood clot) forms in one of the large veins, usually in the lower limbs, leading to either partially or completely blocked circulation.  After being rushed to the hospital and undergoing a 4 hour procedure to remove the clot, we began the process of trying to find out the cause of my problem.  Prior to the sudden swelling of my left leg leading to my emergency-room visit, I felt I was in the best shape of my life. More…

I Don't Feel Sick. So Why Am I in the Hospital?

Jed Diamond is author of Male Menopause and The Irritable Male Syndrome.If you have personal questions or comments you can reach me at Jed@MenAlive.comor visit my websites at:  www.MenAlive.com and www.TheIrritableMale.com Why am I in the hospital?  That’s the question I’m asking myself as lie looking up at the ceiling in the Intensive Care Unit at Sutter Medical Center in Santa Rosa, California.  It all began innocently enough on Saturday, October 7th at 9 AM.  I was hurrying to get ready for an appointment I had in town with a client.  I seemed to stretch my leg a little too much and it felt like I pulled a muscle in my thigh.  I swore under my breath, but didn’t think much of it as I drove into town.  I saw my client and drove home looking forward to soaking in a hot tub.  That’s when I realized something was wrong. More…

The Black Dog of Depression: Is There a His and Her Breed?

Author of Male Menopause and The Irritable Male Syndrome.www.MenAlive.com and www.TheIrritableMale.com.If you have personal questions or comments write me at Jed@MenAlive.com      The "Black Dog" was Winston Churchill's name for his depression, and as is true with all metaphors, it speaks volumes. The nickname implies both familiarity and an attempt at mastery.  Those of us who have suffered from depression know well how it can sink its fangs into us when least expect.  As we live with it and become familiar with the ways of depression, it can also seem like an old friend, hard to live with, but never-the-less, a friend.  Both my wife and I have had to come to terms with the Black Dog in our lives.  Yet her Dog and mine often act very differently.  My Black Dog is often irritable and angry.  Hers is more likely to be preoccupied and obsessive. More…

It's About Oil, Stupid

Jed Diamond is author of Male Menopause and The Irritable Male Syndrome. Visit me at www.MenAlive.com or www.TheIrritableMale.com.  If you have questions or concerns write me at Jed@MenAlive.com To paraphrase James Carville’s reminder to Bill Clinton to stay focused on what was really important, I suggest that if we want to understand why we are in Iraq (and other parts of the world) we keep our eye on one of the most significant realities of our time.  We can state the situation suscinctly:  1.  Americans (and many others in the world) have become dependent on the use of oil and oil products.  2.  The amount of oil is finite and we have reached the "peak."   3.  Like addicts, many of us will do anything to get our next fix.  4.  When our actions are challenged, we deny we are hooked and divert attention from our preoccupation with our “drug of choice.” More…