JacquelineMarcell

No Regrets

Author Elder Rage www.ElderRage.com Host Coping With Caregiving Radio Show www.wsRadio.com/CopingWithCaregiving WELCOME BACK ALL MY CAREGIVERS—Tell us your story! Previously I wrote about my beloved Godfather, Bo (84), who is now on Hospice and dying. He has to be on oxygen 24/7 and can’t walk or leave the house, but we still talk often. I am in awe at how calmly he is facing his death and when I ask if he is afraid he says, “Nooo, I can’t complain about anything now -- this is just how it is going to go. I don’t have any regrets and I’ve had a very happy life -- with the most wonderful wife and my children and Goddaughter.” I tear-up again just writing that, because I am going to miss him terribly—he’s been my rock my whole life. More…

Journaling Helps Caregivers Cope--and May Even Lead to a New Passion

Author Elder Rage www.ElderRage.com Host Coping With Caregiving Radio Show www.wsRadio.com/CopingWithCaregiving WELCOME BACK ALL MY CAREGIVERS—Tell us your story! When I was taking care of my elderly parents (both with Alzheimer's) I kept a daily journal to keep track of everything, but also to help me get my emotions out. I never imagined that a year later I would be so compelled by my caregiving experience that I would turn my diary into my first book, Elder Rage, which has become a best-seller. Who knew! Boy am I glad I've kept a journal since I was 15, because other than that, I'd never written anything but a postcard!   More…

Brooke Astor's Son Accused of Elder Abuse

Author Elder Rage www.ElderRage.com Host Coping With Caregiving Radio Show www.wsRadio.com/CopingWithCaregiving WELCOME BACK ALL MY CAREGIVERS—Tell us your story! Wealthy New York philanthropist, Brooke Astor, is a 104-year-old fashion icon who saved the New York Public Library from destruction. She's been at the center of high society for most of her life, but she's in the news now because of sad allegations that her own son is committing elder abuse. Her grandson, Phillip Marshall, is petitioning the court to have his own father, Anthony Marsall (Brooke's 87-year old son--born when she was 17), removed as her guardian. Phillip claims that his father is guilty of neglect because he significantly reduced his mother's caregiving staff and denied money for prescribed medications, medical equipment, and even for having her hair colored and flowers in her apartment. He also allegedly banished her beloved dogs, removed her favorite art, and makes his mother sleep on a couch. More…

Coping With Elders Who Complain About Everything

Author Elder Rage www.ElderRage.com Host Coping With Caregiving Radio Show www.wsRadio.com/CopingWithCaregiving WELCOME BACK ALL MY CAREGIVERS—Tell us your story! When an elderly loved one chronically complains about everyone and everything, and you have already been sympathetic, offered solutions and tried to change the subject yet the moaning persists, realize you may have inadvertently created your own monster. By not setting limits on this behavior a long time ago, you have taught your elder that they can get a "pay off" in attention when they grumble on and on. They have learned that they can get what they want by complaining. More…

How Do I Manage an Elder Who Wants All My Time and Attention?

Author Elder Rage www.ElderRage.com Host Coping With Caregiving Radio Show www.wsRadio.com/CopingWithCaregiving WELCOME BACK ALL MY CAREGIVERS—Tell us your story! One of the most challenging aspects of caregiving can be figuring out how to balance caring for your loved one along with the rest of your responsibilities. Caregiving can be overwhelming, and many caregivers end up neglecting other, important parts of their life. Here are some tips for how to manage your time and respond to a loved one who demands all of your attention. The best way is to set reasonable but strict limits of when you can and can't be available. It is very important not to allow yourself to be manipulated. If you never give in to demands, your elder will learn that moaning and groaning doesn't work and will eventually stop trying. If you give in to extreme begging, they will continue to push harder and harder, knowing that you will eventually cave in. Another idea is to always use an answering machine to screen your calls and never pick up and respond if your elder is being nasty or negative. But when they ask for your help in a more reasonable way, respond positively to reinforce the good behavior, telling them how proud of them you are and how much you appreciate the way they have approached you this time. More…

Hallucinations vs. Delusions: What's the Difference?

Author Elder Rage www.ElderRage.com Host Coping With Caregiving Radio Show www.wsRadio.com/CopingWithCaregiving WELCOME BACK ALL MY CAREGIVERS—Tell us your story! At my caregiving seminars I am often asked what the difference is between hallucinations and delusions. A simple explanation is that a hallucination is something a person experiences through one of their five senses--but that isn't real. So, they may see, hear, smell, taste, or feel things that seem so real--but aren't. A delusion, on the other hand, is something a person thinks, something they strongly believe to be true, which is not. Because both maladies seem so real to the person experiencing them, it is often quite difficult to convince them otherwise. More…

Elder-Proofing the Home for Safety

Author Elder Rage www.ElderRage.com Host Coping With Caregiving Radio Show www.wsRadio.com/CopingWithCaregiving WELCOME BACK ALL MY CAREGIVERS—Tell us your story! When I began taking care of my parents, I didn't have a clue about all the things I should do to "elder-proof" their house to help improve their safety. Luckily one day, my mother's occupational therapist, Mary Jo, pointed out numerous things I could do: More…

Memory Lane

Author Elder Rage www.ElderRage.com Host Coping With Caregiving Radio Show www.wsRadio.com/CopingWithCaregiving After moving recently and throwing out so many things I no longer need, yesterday I suddenly took a break as I found myself deep down memory lane--leafing through numerous photo albums and scrapbooks I had kept as a child and young adult. I was surprised by how many people I don't even remember now, but also warmed by how many special people have come in and out of my life--and how many I still keep in touch with.   I even found my Junior Prom corsage that high school heart-throb Bob gave me and wondered if I could find out what he is doing now through Classmates or the Internet--but darn, no luck. Then I found stacks of love letters and wondered what my life would have been like if I had married John and moved to Washington DC. More…

Caregiving and Post-Traumatic Stress Discorder

Author Elder Rage www.ElderRage.com Host Coping With Caregiving Radio Show www.wsRadio.com/CopingWithCaregiving WELCOME BACK ALL MY CAREGIVERS—Tell us your story! When I give an eldercare lecture, I always ask the audience if they feel their caregiving experience is/was the hardest thing they have ever done. It never fails to be true--as a sea of heads nod emphatically. If caregiving is the hardest thing we ever do, it makes sense that the effects of the stress will last longer than expected. In my case, after five years of chronic stress from caring for my parents (even though I solved the critical issues the first year), I expected to bounce back faster than I did. More…

"Senior Moments" -- Keep a Symptoms Log!

Author Elder Rage www.ElderRage.com Host Coping With Caregiving Radio Show www.wsRadio.com/CopingWithCaregiving WELCOME BACK ALL MY CAREGIVERS—Tell us your story! (I will be speaking in Fort Wayne, Indiana June 24: http://www.elderrage.com/Events.asp) "Ahhh yes, those pesky little "senior moments" that start to happen more frequently in middle age, which we whisper about to our friends with a "Gallo's Laugh" -- secretly worrying we may be starting to get Alzheimer's Disease or "something". We hope our friends will say they are having some memory lapses too, so we won't feel so bad about our own. The best thing to do is to keep track of these episodes by writing them down in a symptoms notebook with date and details, so you can observe the frequency and progression, and have accurate information with specific examples for the doctor if need be down the road. If it turns out to be the beginning of some type of dementia (Alzheimer's being one type), with early diagnosis and treatment, the progression can be slowed down. The big point is: don't just chalk up progressing "senior moments" to old age! More…