50-Plus Parents, Difficult Teens

 Just as I was thinking about older parents raising teens, I got a call from a dear college friend. She’s 54,  with a 14-year- old daughter. She told me that she feels excluded by the younger mothers and often feels clueless about current teen culture. The triggering event was when a group of teens, including her daughter, was talking about music that both the teens and the other mothers appeared to know all about.  She was embarrassed that she was unfamiliar with the songs everyone else said they loved. 

There are, according to many of the parents that I've spoken with, benefits to having children later.  Some parents report feeling more mature and less anxious than they would have been during their younger years.  Parents with several kids sometimes also feel  that they learned from their prior experience raising teens. Dads say  that  as their wives age,  they stop being barriers between them and their children. These same fathers describe enjoying the additional input and time that they have with their teens.

Still, like my friend, mid-life parents of teens can sometimes feel disadvantaged. They describe feeling isolated from other parents. They may lack the stamina and energy that they had when their older children were teens. Others feel out of touch with aspects of teen culture. And, maybe if they had more energy they would be more motivated to listen to the trending teen music, watch some of the teen reality shows.